Anyway, let me digress to the matter at hand! When I started watching the first episode, I immediately thought, “A Harry Potter clone?

All important kiss. Saito X Louise forever.

End of summary.

Just kidding.

Zero no Tsukaima deserves more than two lines at the very least. In fact, I will even have three endings or even four, according to my mood later. Anyway, since you would probably see enough summaries in ZnT and swooned over the completely dere-dere Louise so many times, I will simply bring you the high points of episode 13.

4th top important scene

Hendrietta in a Pacifica-styled battle dress. Now that’s hot stuff for you. Her cleavage is so developed that it is disturbing when you compare it with Louise’s non-existent….frontal assets. Louise’s dere dere-ness was in a bit of a control. Her gentle voice going “Saitooooooooo~~~~” when she saw the solar eclipse was so awww, you want to have her.

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3rd top important scene

Wow, I never knew a Zero plane rocks so much. I mean, magic seems to be total crap and dragons too compared to normal machinery. I mean, we are used to seeing games where modern weaponry could do nothing to ancient creatures. Finally, ZnT shows how pwnage modern machinery could be in the magical world. I mean, it is called the Dragon Raiment! Oh god, now that really rocks big time in my humble opinion.

Under the hands of the Gandalfu (sic?), the plane literally owns all the dragons at sight and to me, it is really cool to pit modern machinery (not really modern but) against magical creatures. It is really good stuff and the battle makes me a little high. Saito’s rockish factor is increasing a few fold by now.

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2nd top important scene

Louise pwns you. Using her mega level 99 spell, she casts Void of all material including sexual fantasises of flat-chested gals to own the serious hell out of all the bad guys. Now how’s that for serious pain. I mean, Louise suddenly turns all omni-potent and goes like blanked out and fires a ZOMG GIANT BLAST OF DEATH at everyone.

Man, her hot factor went from 8 to 100 now…on a scale of 10.

Yep.

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Lastly, the most important scene ever to happen.

TOP IMPORTANT SCENE

THE KISSU!!!!

Yes, this is like the most important part of episode 13. I mean, that’s what we are waiting for, in which the dere-dere Louise stole the man of her dreams from the hot smexy Siesta by giving him a french adult kissu!!! This is such a smart tactic by Louise to use the kiss to capture Saito forever. I mean, that also means that Saito has to be very daring to flirt with Siesta, well flirt with her in the essence of bathing with her stark naked. He probably will control his perverted hormones to a certain extent at the very least.

So yea, I loved the part where Louise went like “Idiot, you stupid dog!”…It translates to my warped mind as “SAITO, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU HOTTIE!”. We all know that Louise was never under the love potion but was using it as a pretence so as to flirt with Saito and get rid of her competitor, the hot meido Siesta. I mean, it is so darn obvious that Louise the Void, the legendary master, will succumb to a freaking love potion. What the hell, no +15 magic resistance to charms or +10 for consitution at the very least?

Anyway, best scene ever and good conclusion.

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Thoughts

ZnT started out simply as a Shana clone for me. By episode 5, it has proved me so wrong with the humor. I really love this series because it is so light hearted and the cute dere-dere factor is there. I really enjoyed episode 9, because Louise went all dere-dere due to the love potion that was so funny. I loved this show and it is probably one of the hits for me this season. Good stuff.

NOW, SHOW ME THE 2ND SEASON EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IN MY HEART THERE WONT BE ONE T_T

That said, the episode summary goes something like Louise getting tsundere over Saito after kissing him in the rescue. Saito then chatted up with the hot meido, Siesta and went to her house after realizing that there is something of a dragon. The dragon was in fact a Japanese zero, an old aeroplane. They got it back and it seemed that Saito could get back to Earth if he used the plane to travel into the lunar eclipse.

However, if you are watching for the intense plot in ZnT, I really wonder which kind of alien you are. Of course, we do not CARE ABOUT THE PLOT. We care (at least I care) mostly about the Siesta x Saito x Louise. Yes, I hear you Jessica fans but MU RI, louise x saito forever!!! I will not listen to any other blasphemy!!!

Hence, I present to you, the greatest discovery of all time. Yes, you have been expecting it (I know you don’t, but assume you do!), the MANY FACES OF LOUISE!!! Yes, our tsundere lead that has turned heads over her small pantsu, her flat chest and her larger than life whip!

Let me, Impz, present all 17 faces!

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1. The search for pantsu look!

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2. The shy Louise look when she is seen by Saito in her lingerie…Ooo, who said she had no sex appeal huh?? Huh??? Flat chest doesn’t mean anything! Or does it…It does? NOOOOOOOO!

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3. The classic tsundere look.

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4. The slightly touched look when she sees her beloved Saito.

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5. The “Why he doesn’t feel anything when he kissed me” look. The teary eyes come with the look. It’s free of charge.

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6. The annoyed look.. Arghh, I curse you Saito!

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7. The “awwww, you are so sweet” look. By far, my favorite look for Louise :O. It’s just so darn cute. Louise <333333333333333333. You are the greatest!

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8. Oops, my pantsu dropped and…. *censored* look.

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9. The “What the hell did you do with my pantsu” look on Saito. Hmm, no, i do not mean anything dirty. I reiterate, I DO NOT mean anything hentai. I wonder if I had made matters worse by emphasizing.

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10. The “Oh, you are due for a spanking now, ya little biatch” look. Yes, that is also a clear signal that she is in control and any attempt to flirt with the hot Siesta will be severly punished. It seems that Saito does not get this fact at all. No wonder she has to leash out that whip. Baka.

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11. Ehhhhhhhhh look. Yea, that’s good enough.

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12. The “Why am i so in love with him, I am a baka” look. Eyes needed to be strained tight for the best effect.

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13. “As i looked into the sky, there is nothing but sadness” look. You never thought I had the poetry sense, do you. Wait, that is literary sense. Ermm, whatever.

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14. This can be

–> The command you to sit look

–> The para para dance look

–> The “Wo dui ni ai ai ai ai bu wan” look (this one, most non-chinese wouldn’t understand unless you know who Aaron Kwok is)

–> The “do as i say or else!” look.

Make your choice, it works all ways.

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15. The quizzical look. Hmm, what are you troubled about, my dear louise?

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16. The shocked “OMG, SAITO LEFT WITH SIESTA TO HER HOUSE FOR HAWT ***” look.

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17. Lastly, the sad teary omg you want to hug her and tell her it’s all right look.

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So which is your favorite look for Louise? I vote for no. 7! How about you?

WAHAHAHA, SIESTA FANS, YOU ARE OWNED! Read that, Louise has gotten Saito’s kiss! Wahahaha, isn’t it sweet that Saito has a closet fetish to flat-chested and tsundere gals? Yes, this is the episode where Louise goes from a shift of “YES, I WANT TO MARRY YOU, WARD-SAMA <3" to a completely sweet "No, I dont want to marry you, you paedophile lolitron!".

Of course, our dear Saito would save our lady from her crisis and collect her actively as the official harem member that would be sealed with a kiss. Yes, in harems, there's an unspoken rule that when a girl kissed the main male lead, they will stay in love with him forever.

Yes, even if he bedded a girl that was the sister of his ex-girlfriend. So cool to have such stupidity dedication to a man, don’t we. I am breaking the mood a little, so rather than having a warped episode summary, I would highlight the major high points of this episode.

GO, SAITO, GO! THE DEFINING SIX STEPS TO A SUPERHERO!

6 rules of how to be a superhero in Zero no Tsukaima

1. Have a glow on your arms. It would be recommended that your girl is held custody by some old paedophile that is hell bent on having some hot nubile loli love. He might be problematic sometimes, since his obsession goes to the extent that marrying her means that he has the ability to own her physically and emotionally. Sick pervert. So, that will increase your meter using godmodding logic and your rune (or something magical) will glow.

2. You then must have a lousy looking sword that looks like total junk. Honestly, it will be even better if it has an annoying voice in which it calls you “Aibo” (partner). Then, for some strange reason, you will suddenly transform your lousy crappy looking sword into a shining piece of ZOMG SWORD!

3. The enemy will definitely have a great shock after seeing you transform into super saiyan mode. Hence, he/she will fire some magical attack at you, thinking that you will be owned easily. Now is the time for the superhero to charm the girls as he blocked the blow and absorbed it into his new ZOMG SWORD!

4. Then, in order not to waste too much time on frame changes, you have to own the bad guy in the next blow. Usually, a non-superhero will charge up like an idiot. Some might hide from behind to backstab you. However, the traditional way of being a hero is to leap in the air and attack. I mean, even though it meant that you cannot evade in mid air and it’s stupid to do so when the opponent is just a few steps away, there is still the need of the image. So yea, endure the stupidity and jump up.

5. Ok, the enemy will be somehow deillusional and not notice that you are in fact the main male lead that is supposed to kick ass. So, in stupidity (wow, and he’s the darn captain of mages), he fires yet another bolt of energy toward the hero. However, the hero will show how godmod is done by cutting through the magical bolt easily.

6. Lastly, before you own the opponent, clearly give a smug and cool face for all the fangirls to enjoy. Traditionally, this is the time where you get the final fantasy victory music with the “You hit the enemy with GODMOD for 4000 damage. The enemy disintegrates”. However, due to cost issues, it is cut short by letting the enemy live.

7. Enjoy the kiss from the tsundere lead.

Hope that all of you grasp that knowledge well. Anyone can be a hero. You can as well!

Call us now at 1800-BE-A-HERO-NOW for consultation on how it can be done.

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Screenshots

Poor young Louise, she had lost her childhood at such a tender age. Her future had been tainted even before she realised it. She had been brain-controlled by the evil Ward from a very young age.

Woe to LOUISE!!!

A long long time, even before the creation of Dumbiedore land and whatever land that magic works and we do not have the fricking Internet to surf porn, a front runner in the field of paedology had appeared in the whole of ZnT.

He is Ward-san, a secret level 10 lolitron under the document of the paedometer. He had been a forefather in the invention of such a sophiscated equipment and had bestowed to us, the act of a complete lolitron. That sick and disgusting forefather of paedology would do anything to get the cute dere-dere Louise into his harem.

That sick pervert.

We first see Hendrietta’s appearance. Louise asked her why she was alone and I think it was pretty obvious why she came alone. I mean seriously, three is already a crowd in the bedroom (damn, my brain is in the gutter). Well, she asked Louise then for some mission that she could not ask anyone because everyone in the kingdom was blind and could not sense her moe factor. I mean, if you have a princess that is so damn cute, you will do literally anything for her.

So i concluded that all the males in the kingdom except Saito and Ward are in fact gheys or misgnoists.The females are well generally jealous of Hendreitta’s cuteness so she could not turn to them. Eventually, our golden couple decided to accept the mission. Gay guy Guiche (G3) eavesdropped the conversation and his attempt to get Hendrietta into his harem with Monmon was slightly better. You know the change from 0% to 0.0000001%? Yea.

We also noted that Siesta, the hot meido, missed Saito’s hot body in the bath and forgave him. Aww, that flirt Saito had his ways. Also, he found out that he is supposed to be the legendary familiar and the owner has a null element that makes him/her a cute little pink girl eextremely powerful.

The night before, Saito said something to give his sweetheart something to blush about.

“I will protect you!”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! xD (that’s from me btw, not from Louise)

As our dere-dere heroine and our pervert harem hero walked out of the school (G3 is not considered in the human factor), G3’s equally gay mole wanted to rape Louise because she looks so moe. Luckily (or unluckily), we have the appearance of the legendary lolitron captain of the Griffin squad. That person was Ward and he was the greatest researcher of paedoness ever. Once he came, his victim and favorite victim, Louise, was immediately charmed as he carried her up and said that she was as light as a feather.

Way to go, LOLITRON!

Louise of course, goes all ward-sama and damn you, Saito because the lolitron’s powers cannot be underestimated. They then went to some town together, with the lolitron waiting to prey on Louise. I mean, if you have such a cute little girl totally over you, you will take the first opportunity to get fresh with her. The lolitron’s attempt for world domination (in more ways than one) had started.

Of course, Saito gets pretty jealous because the entrance of the level 10 lolitron meant that he had no chance to impress his Louise. He was seriously pwned on all situations as Louise seemed to have an old-man fetish plus the lolitron had specialized in “loli-altering magic”. Hence, he had worked through Louise’s younger days to make sure that his influence was strong enough.

As they stayed in an inn, they went for dinner and the lolitron wanted to get rid of his nearest competitor, Saito. Hence, the lolitron the lolitron used the excuse of wanting to talk to Louise to rape kiss her. However, she spoke out Saito, spoiling the whole mood. Good for Saito though, who had used telekinsis to force Louise into it. At the end of the episode, the lolifiend pwned Saito so hard that Saito gets mad. Rawr!

Ending notes

How to kiss a girl

1. Make sure your name is not Guiche

2. Hit on loli-looking characters. They tend to want more love.

3. Make sure you have loliquestic eyes that can charm lolis

4. Do not kiss them the first time you meet them.

That’s it!

P/S I hate Ward.

Do you not love such a cute character above when she looks at you with such a lonely, teary look?

Your willpower must be made of iron steel if you can resist her attempts to bring you onto the bed. That is the strange infliction of immunity and sudden righteousness of harem males. I mean, you see Saito being completely pervie most of the times. However, when the girl throws herself on him, he evades it.

What the hell!

I mean, if it’s me, i will happily fall into temptation with Louise and her…Never mind, this is sounding wrong once again from a maligned person like me who is called a lolicon when I am clearly not one. Yes, that’s right, I AM NOT A LOLICON!

This series is getting so good that it will not serve justice if I wrote just a parody of it. The moe Louise was incredibly cute, and I kept replaying the scenes where she was flirting so much with Saito. It was just so cute to see her showering Saito with all the love that she got and we all knew that she already felt that liking for Saito, even without the love potion.

Anyway, i will go with a part-parody, part-story flow…Ermm…Whatever, i will just write random rubbish until I get to the end of the whole summary. Read it for some reason. I think. Yea, reading it is fun, I promise (or not).

Parody summary

As we have known for the past episodes, Saito is busy trying to keep his harem intact and has in fact snagged the babelicious Meido Siesta in a hot lovey dovey tub the last episode. He also had Louise around his fingers by making her jealous. In this episode, we see the effects of the love potion, with Louise completely falling in love and enamouring over him. In fact, Louise did not suffer from the love potion but was faking it.

She knew that Saito was trying to build his harem but she had other ideas. She wanted to just have a happy threesome with Saito and Hendrietta. She did not like Siesta because she had a hate-hate relationship with Meidos, especially when her last maid kept taunting her about her flat boobs. Hence, she was busy dealing with her temptation of Saito, especially since she had a legitimate reason to flirt with him openly.

Remember that she is a noble and cannot show affection to a “commoner” like Saito. Of course, we already knew earlier on that Louise had the hots on him. Which girl would allow a guy to wash her panties all the time, if not to tempt him?

Tsk tsk tsk, Louise. You are smart. Saito of course was tricked and promised to return Louise to her normal mode.

We then saw Louise using her newfound freedom in dispelling the harem of Saito by flirting with Saito completely when Siesta was around. Of course, Siesta knew she was beaten even though she had a much hotter body than Louise. She was but a commoner as she walked away in anger. She then revealed an important fact. She was going to be in Louise’s harem because Saito was not hot enough told Saito that making a love potion was a criminal crime.

Whoever made a love potion and was caught will be forced to spend three nights with Tenma and the disgusting loli incest couple from Shakugan no shana. Trust me, Tenma is more scary.

The scene changed as we see Saito being manipulated by the intelligent Louise. I mean, she’s a damn wizard. We all know in D20 rules that wizards need at least 15 intelligence to get that 10% increase in experience points. On the other hand, familiars other than owls tended to be stupid and easily manipulated by masters, so Saito was hunting Mon mon and the gay guy Guiche (omg, alliteration!). Gay guy Guiche will be called G3 from now on.

He wanted them to remove the love potion and Mon mon was threatened by Saito to hunt it down as soon as possible. They then decided to go off to search for some tears (who is probably some pee eventually) and Saito was planning from within to steal the hot blonde noble in the trip. I mean, her suitor was a weak noble that got pwned by him. It’s perfect.

As Saito returned, Louise made the suitable preparations to give Saito a love bite and then sleep. She was of course faking her sleep but made herself look darn hot while sleeping. The next day, they visited the lake of something that has a water fairy with a flooding fetish. Either that, or the water fairy likes to play water gate ball with the doors of the houses as gates for the giant balls she used for the game. Let’s not mention that she is in a bad mood because the last magician that played with her screwed her up, thrashing her 13-0.

After the water fairy was called out by Mon mon, she said something about being angry (you know, the magician that thrashed her silly) and she lied that some magicians had been incuring her wrath. I swore that she was stuttering while telling that lie. Of course, with the combined intelligence of IQ 190 from the three members (I am not adding the 150 intelligence of Louise because she is acting moe to make Saito shower attention on her), they could not tell the difference of the lie.

They then waited until night time to ambush the two magicians that were about to destroy the water fairy. The two magicians were in fact Kirche and Yuki Nagato Tabitha on a hot yuri date while doing some lame mission. Of course, Saito and that G3 charged out to attack the couple and of course the hot yuri couple owned them so hard and they were about to kill them for interrupting their hot love until Mon mon and Louise (who realised that her love is in danger) shouted out the name of Saito. With that, they found out and Saito promised the water fairy that he would help retreieve the item and as a special bonus, owned the magician 14-0 in water gateball to avenge her.

Back to the academy, Louise got bored of being a damsel in love and started a S&M session with Saito. Hendrietta came over to have a nice threesome. We then see scenes of villans that i could care less.

The end.

“But Saito-san is not the type that will do something perverted” – Siesta.

Wow, if some hot gal is stripping in front of me and telling me that, I will go insane. Like insane.

Greatest understatement of the year in the world of anime. Man, I sometimes wish I am Saito. Having a hot meido gal, a feisty master who is cute, an extremely cute princess and a big chested redneck that cannot wait to bury your head on her valleys. I mean seriously, what has Saito have to complain about? Every single gal wants to have him and the fact that he has all the time to touch Louise’s boobs (yea, she is flat) makes me feel like killing him.

You know, i wish he appreciates it more. In fact, I bet he is appreciating the fact that he is able to go on a horseride so often with Louise. I mean, it is like a free ride (pun intended). Btw, Mr. Admin might do a proper review for this ZnT by editting in this post, so if you cannot stand the stupidity here (which begs the question, why the hell are you watching ZnT?), you can wait for him.

Cynical and politically-incorrect comments to prove that Saito was planning for this coming right up!

Evidence 1

Please examine the facts in this series of pictures. Do you see the cheeky smile, the delightful craziness when he was grabbing her chest with great happiness? Do you see the blushing of the cheeks when he said that Louise’s chest was flat, so he has full right to touch it no matter what? It makes no difference, not because it is non-existent, but the fact that it is his supreme right to acheive such feats!

Louise, due to the fact that she was still considered to be a noble, had to hit him to show some honor. I mean, if you have completely no one in the area, she would probably continue to enjoy it. However, the fact that there was a carriage there meant that she has to show her prowess as a noble. Quite a pity for Saito, who has to act victimized and all. He also did enough to tease Louise so that she got all jealous of him. He was a clear tactician in the making and to control all the gals with the tip of his palm!

However, all good harem males have the following qualities. They are generally having problems getting themselves off the hook, either with their heads on the boobs of the girls, touching them everywhere and being attacked but never dying from it. So Saito is great. He can’t die even after being dropped off a horse. In fact, he does not even have injuries. Now, how cool is that!

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Evidence 2

Look at the amount of preparation created by the harem male Saito. Firstly, he is already ready to make some hot lovey dovey bathtub. The lie was that he wanted to have it so that he has a bathtub in the traditional japanese way. However, as educated and refined anime viewers of ZnT, we know that Saito is not dumb. He had already analyzed his choices and has noticed that Siesta would definitely pass by in the night.

In fact, he had also laid out plans with Kirche, as he knew that the redneck was completely beswotted with his awesomeness as the only decent harem male lead in the anime. I mean, just look at Guiche. He fails. Or the Dumbiedore fake. So Kirche seriously has very little choice. Oh yes, we also know too little of the mystery man in episode 7 so there was really no one to really choose other than Saito. See Saito’s devious plan to plant himself in a place devoid of proper men!

Of course, he had also controlled Louise. By suddenly leaving in the night, he knew for sure that Louise would try to find him to give some nice S&M love to him. So he had made sure that there was great jealousy, which meant that all the gals would try even harder to impress him more!

Just a point of note. While Saito was collecting the harem, Yuki Nagato Tabitha or Charlotte (her real royal name) was starting to collect her own Shoujo-Ai harem. Saito had a quiet competitor who was working under the scenes! They did reveal some sad facts about Tabitha, but i mean, who cares right? We want more love love!

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Evidence 3

From the first picture, I quoted the line.

“No one is around and it’s dark here, so it should be fine.” – Siesta.

I wondered what they would do, really, taking this out of context. It sounded suggestive. Or was that my mind was completely polluted in the first place?

If that was not a blatant attempt of foresight that Saito waited til it was dark before poaching the hotest Meido to ever arrive in anime, I could not do of anything else. The fact that he used his hot, macho body to tempt the Meido to bathe with him was a great tactic on his part. He had ambushed the meido, since he had observed that she had always passed by at this certain time. He knew that Siesta had a strong curiousity, as he waited patiently, like how a hunter waited for his prey.

As the prey approached, he hid until the prey came before scaring her, conveniently staining her shirt so that she can conveniently accept the offer to bathe with him. He was a devious man, i tell you. Saito was in fact a womanizer that knew no bounds! He knew that Siesta had the hots for him. Louise was inherently jealous as usual. Kirche can’t wait to throw herself at him. However, he knew that Tabitha would be a tough nut to crack so he was using Kirche as a spy in the mansion and trying to use Kirche effectively to tempt Tabitha to his side.

Saito was devious. Devious!!!

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Evidence 4

See the logic of the open bathtub. With the open bathtub, that meant that if Siesta wanted to go in or leave the bathtub, she had to stand up, reveal her babelicious body before being able to step out. Saito was smart because he knew that his charm was way too great for Siesta to stand. The fact that he had made it known that Louise was all jealous on him and in close proximity meant that Siesta had to do some tempting with her body to get Saito.

Saito, knowing psychology well, had used this to his fullest advantage, allowing himself to see the omg body of Siesta in the nude so many times. He could then count on Louise to hunt him down as he did not even need to track her movements. He was sure that Louise would see the two of them and it would definitely make her jealous. All part of his plans. Remember that.

When he came back, we had a seriously jealous Louise, after having a potion made and drunk accidently, trying to charm Saito. Even though his plans were slightly affected, it was only for the better as Louise went all emo on him. He had literally captured the three hot ladies in an episode.

Conclusion: Saito is a freaking womanizer. Nuff said.

I would. Seriously, which idiot would not KISS hendrietta’s lips. Other than the possibility that the person is insane, crazy or ridiculously stupid, there is no chance in hell that any guy would resist kissing the princess. Saito just did the most human thing ever alive in his entire life to kiss Hendrietta. I salute you, my man, for finally doing what most harem guys dare not do, kiss the girl with passion and guts!

Go Saito go! Just for the kiss, I give you five brownie points. You are still a wuss but meh, it’s better to at least get a few points, no?

Now onto the episode summary proper! When i mean episode summary, I do mean the summary where the story was so warped that it has absolutely nothing to do with the story plot. In simple terms, this is a parody created by me, the warped tsuruya fan! If you can catch all the parodies that I included in this review, you rock!

Saito, after finding the baseball bat for the princess had great things installed for the princess. However, the princess, knowing that her lesbian mate close friend, Louise, is secretly in love with Saito, tried to use the opportunity of thanking the two of them to plant the seeds of jealousy into her friend. As Saito and Louise came to get their prize, which was in fact a melon-pan endorsed by Shana and a smoked cheese specially made by Tsuruya (affectionally called Lol-tan by some of the writers in the palace), one of the chief cooks of the palace.

However, as Saito came over innocently to kiss her on the cheeks, Hendrietta used her gate powers, “Attraction”, in which to force Saito toward her and they went on a hot kiss. Usually, Hendrietta’s ninja skills of leeching off the blood of her opponent after a kiss and an embrace would be in effect but she knew that Saito had the spirit of Berserker in his heart and there was the reason why he could get bashed up so badly and always survive. That of course made Louise very angry, as she wanted to kiss Saito instead.

With the legimitate reason to “punish” the two of them as she was forcefully kissed (supposedly), she then ordered them to go to the french town of Le Havre to cosplay a waitress and a cleaning hand. Of course, Hendrietta had placed agents in the place, including a gay man that would make Saito repulsive, so that they had more chances of hot love love. However, Hendrietta, with her extremely good planning skills that she had learned from Tessa, also added some bite as she asked Jessica, an important girl that had big breasts to be there, in order to make sure that Louise would be as jealous as she could be.

With Louise’s character, Hendrietta had to tell them that they were in fact on a mission to hunt down some corrupted noble that had been abusing his power. She had actually withdrawn a lot of money from her bosom friend, Tazusa the billion dollar lady but was trying to give as little as possible so that Louise would somehow gamble the money away with her naive behavior and had to be forced to go to the inn that was designated for them to share a room together in love.

It was then that Gay no 1 that probably loved collecting Stud cards and making nice dresses for dolls came out, getting the two to come to his inn for free. Louise was then forced to wear a waitress uniform because Hendrietta had gathered information from the Black Wolf gang that Saito loved Meido dresses. There, Louise was forced to swallow her pride as a noble for the mission, not knowing that her friend had set her up for Gotcha!

It was then that Louise was forced to serve the customers, where the voyeuristic abilities of the Hit squad came into power as they filmed every single part about Louise’s serving and her mishappenings in the process. There was also a psuedo competition of tipping, where the girl with the greatest amount of tips after the week would earn herself the great bodice. Of course, we already know that the whole campaign was rigged, with the money borrowed from Tazuma.

Louise, however, was seeting with fury. She had gone around hitting the customers after her jealousy meter went up the peak. Jessica also did her best ability to tempt Saito with her juggling breasts and it was definitely a weakness that Saito could not resist as he was happily talking with the girl. With that, Louise threw the great metal bottle which was in fact a deflatable Gondola that was used for special ops.

When Saito woke up, he found Jessica climbing onto his bed, ready to seduce him by putting his hands on her zomg cleavage. He was starting to blush and Hendrietta knew that the choice of Jessica was definitely a good one as Louise came in all firing, dragging Saito away.

Louise was then annoyed by Jessica, as Jessica mentioned about Louise’s flat chest and Louise was even more angry, as she tried to prove her pedigree at serving the customers. It was actually yet another plan by Hendrietta because she knew that Saito had a closet fetish when it came to waitresses serving things. It was definitely going well, as the two were engaging in vicious fights. There was a chinese saying that “if there is no fight, there is no love.”

A noble came in and was teasing Louise once again about her small chest. She could not stand it anymore, as the noble was just as lecherous as the guy in Tonagura as Louise flared out with her brand of explosive magic (I am surprised she did not hurt herself). With that, the mission ended of sorts, with Louise earning herself the powerful bodice in order to charm Saito into submission. As we can see, Saito had fallen into the +7 to charisma coat.

With that, the episode ended happily, with Hendrietta’s plan to get the two together coming closer to reality!

“I am so gonna give him more whips of love tonight.” — Louise

Warning: Like the previous review, the actual episode summary is very loosely linked to the story. It is mostly created by my warped mind because I need to write really rubbish stuff in order to maintain my interest of this anime.

A day started with Louise getting angry that Saito was not screaming loud enough when she was whipping him. She was sure that she had used more strength than normal yesterday, but somehow he was still able to go all lovey-dovey with the big-boobie woman. She was extremely annoyed too about the stolen staff of destruction because she had betted all her savings for the month of August to bet on the home team to win the baseball game. Without the staff, she feared very hard to lose the money and was game on searching for the staff of destruction, the key to her problems.

They then went over to the hentai Dumbiedore, who was ready to grant them an audience. He was also worried about the coming baseball match against the School Rumble + Ouran High all star team, who had been dominant in the last ten matches that they played. The last match in particular, was a major disaster as they lost to various home runs created by the extremely annoying girl that was called Tenma. It was said that she could use her annoying personality and her crazy stupidity to poison every single mage in the vicinity during the match. They also had Harima, a powerful batter that was famous for his booming home runs. In fact, he was on the pace to break the record of 1600 home runs set by both Satoshi of Higurashi home school and Haruhi of Ouran high fame.

Hence, with the match on the line (and tons of betting on the home team with new superstars such as Meido Siesta and hot princess Hendrietta in the new-look squad), he had done the best thing he could: to get the fringe players to find the staff. Tabitha, Kirke and Louise were asked to meet, with the other mages at the fringe team.

Without any hesistation, they decided to go on a journey to hunt the staff of destruction. Tabitha decided that it was going to be worrying if she was to let two noobs join the chase and decided to use her ZOMGWTFIGONNAPWNYOU dragon familiar to help the two bimbos. Of course, I am once again threatened to give special mention of the dragon. In fact, the dragon is currently right behind me, waiting to blast me into ashes if I was not going to write about him. Dragons rock a lot! Please remember that!

Sadly, the two girls (dumb ones) appreicated the offer as much as an illiterate would appreciate the fine skills of a 100 page thesis paper about bio-molecular technology. They then swore on the promise that they would deliver and went on an encouragment cheer before they left. Trust me, the words are misleading, misleading I tell you. The actual conversation goes this way.

Tabitha: Go, Bardiche!

T’s staff: Yes, sir.

Kirke: Reinforce, go forth!

K’s staff: Yes, my master.

Louise: Raging heart, are you ready?

L’s staff: … (*silence*)
Louise: Raging heart?

L’s staff: I refuse to talk to a girl with zero boobs. I will be fine.

Louise: …No lunch for you. No melon-pan for snacks.

L’s staff: NOOOOOO!!! YES, MASTER, I WILL DO ANYTHING!!!

So they went off on the journey to find the staff of destruction which was rumored to be stolen by some lame thief (as we remember, the trying-so-hard to be moe green-haired girl) and it was last seen in an abandoned hut nearby. Our three characters + non-important-hentai boy went on a journey with Ms Longsville, the promotional manager for the team. She was already complaining very hard that she had to travel with the kids, as she was trying to promote and increase the morale of the investors of the squad.

Tabitha, with her Yuki’s alien skills observation skills, found the staff in the hut, only to hear a loud roar outside the hut. It was someone familiar, one that Saito actually knew well. It was his jealous lover, the golem. After that incident where the golem fell so much in love with Saito, the golem felt its hormones rising as it searched high and low for Saito, his first love. The other two girls, being jealous of the fact that the golem was able to express its love for the hentai boy, blasted the golem with their magic, hoping to hurt it hard.

However, instead of feeling any pain, the golem was getting high and it was ready to smash the hell out of the “third party”, Louise. It could feel that Louise was the one that was giving Saito delight every night from her whip and it wanted to be the one to do it. It tried hard to smash her into pieces but Saito stopped it simply because he wanted to have some proper lunch instead of granite pebbles. Of course, with such pride as a noble, Louise wanted to die because she was saved by her old familiar and wanted to stand and fight. She hated being called zero for no boobs and wanted to prove to everyone that she was going to do it. She would turn to Kurasaki Ichigo or Dr Jackal if required, in order to be stronger. She needs to.

However, she was slapped by Saito, who hated that attitude of her.

“You just have to give me those whips of love every night like you always do, dear…” Saito said.

“Really…Is that good enough?” Louise asked.

“Yes, now watch me. I will make sure you are my only lover. The golem is just a fling.” Saito smiled brilliantly.

Awwww, dont you think Saito is such a gentleman. Without further ado, he went on to kick the ass out of the golem, who was feeling great pain as it was betrayed by the man it loved so much. However, it was great at regenerating its body and Saito was having trouble killing it. Louise, with her newfound strength, gave Saito the staff of destruction that she picked up.
Surprise! Instead of a normal baseball bat that was blessed by Yuki Nagato and the spirit of Satoshi, it was actually a Sagara prototype baseball bat that doubled up as a missile launcher. The missile was then blasted right at the forlorn golem, which smashed to pieces with the last blow of Saito’s weapon.

“a4*ryrs$ eyg@et&” (translates to: Goodbye, my love in golem talk)

They then realised that Ms Longuville was missing in action, as they looked around. Ms Longuville suddenly appeared, holding the staff of destruction with a sly look on her face. It was clear which side she betted on. We then realise that she was actually a spy for the School Rumble + Ouran high all star team and she wanted to steal and learn how to use the bat for the other team. However, with the 133t skills of Saber-esque techniques, Saito gave her a giant jab on the stomach, making her fall.

With the task done, they returned to the school as heros of the school. The success of their next match was pretty much assured with the return of the Staff of destruction as they had a celebration party for it. With that, Louise invited Saito for a dance, ending the tough day. Also, Louise looked good and noble during the special dinner & dance special.

A good end and a toast to the baseball match to be a roaring success!

Screenshots

“Pantsu-washing!” (ok, i cheated a bit on the hyphen)

This episode concentrated on the 2nd year students who were getting ready to display their familiars to their congregation. At the start, we realise that a thief was waiting to steal the staff of destruction, which in my humble opinion, would probably be some baseball bat that has “GO MIKURU-RUN RUN” tag on it with Yuki nagato’s chants on it so that it would hit the enemy without fail.

“Homing mode.”

The thief, a multi-dimensional baseball player from the future in a different world, knew that with this baseball bat, she would be able to rule MBL (Major Baseball League) and be the MVP until she was 80 years old. Since the magical ability of the baseball bat was even enhanced by Satoshi’s spirit (of Higurashi fame), it was a rare treasure that the thief wanted.

Hence, she decided that by hook or by seduction, she would do it. She actually wanted to use the stupid old man that was a weak impersonation of Dumbiedore by wearing a sexy dress, not unlike Mikuru in meido uniform, but decided against it because it’s not mysterious enough. She also decided by wearing a cape, she will look more moe and cute (though she’s trying too hard, cos shana will always be cuter. Midori too). Still, it upped the moe factor, even only by a bit. I guess when evil characters were desperate, they would do anything to improve their situation. Sigh.

The day had came for the second year students to display their almighty strength in pwning more commoners and telling them to be slaves, just like their lame familiars that could not even hurt anything like an ant. I reserve my comments for Yuki Nagato’s dragon. Oh wait, I meant Tabitha’s dragon. A dragon was probably very scary since in my definition, a dragon was usually dangerous, spew fire and would bite off your head when you said that they were bad. I would love to keep my head and continue to do more reviews, so there we go. I was “forced” to say it.

The other characters started displaying their familiars, with some doing some circus acts in order to charm the audience into voting. I have heard that some of the richer nobles had tried to bribe the audience by asking them to call in more votes so that they would win the next Academy idol for familiars. However, it was immediately discovered by the committee and they decided to have a panel, not unlike “So you think you can dance” to decide the winner.

Saito: I gonna use my sword to pwn your asses, judges!!!
Derflinger: What if we accidently hurt the zomg cute Hendrietta???
Saito: You are right. Then there will be no other moe characters in my harem other than the meido Siesta.
Louise: Saito, you will HAVE PUNISHMENT IN THE ROOM TODAY! 12 strokes at least! No, 24 strokes of love!
Saito: OH NO!!! *flees from screen*

Due to the fact that Saito was way too powerful in his magical skills of pantsu-washing, Louise was way too proud as a owner to allow her familiar to be more powerful than her. Hence, she ordered him to just stand there and act cute like all male models in the catwalk too. Saito, with his great pride as a pedohentai pervert that had Siesta in his clutches (that bastard!), decided to throw swinging his manhood (his sword, Derflinger, not …) but was dragged away by the dangerous closet S&M mistress Louise. What a pity for the audience, as they laughed happily for the other candidates because they were given a let off by Saito’s special ability.

Don’t you wanna protect her? awwwwwwww xD

Oh, a very important point for the audience, the princess, who was probably one of the new candidates to apply for Saito’s harem (which i cannot understand why all harem females were so dumb to like such pervies), was there as well for the presentation. The princess had also a hidden agenda, which was to make Louise her maid (read a bit on real European history and you will understand ^_^) and was doing all her cutesy charms on Louise. Of course, since Louise has a cute fetish, she was unable to resist her charms and was gunning to impress the princess Hendrietta.

The thief chose that moment to appear and used her zomg wtf pwnage golem to tell Saito who’s boss. Of course, when Saito saw the golem, he found happiness to be in him and decided to let the golem grab him. In fact, the way golems showed affection was to grab their lovers in their hands while gazing at them with a murderous intent. Yea, you guessed it, they were like praying mantis. Once they finished with their lovers, they ate them too.

Oh, great love! Look at the excitement in Saito’s face as he was grabbed by the golem! He had to ask Louise to get away because he was getting way too “excited”.

Louise, with her sex toy in trouble, had to cast something to prevent them from falling in love with each other. She then tried to blast the hell out of the golem in jealously but instead hit the wall. The wall, of course, fell instantly in love with Louise since it was a closet maschoist. She had to then flee the scene to escape from the clutches.

The thief, seeing the opportunity to steal the baseball bat, did so and did the cliche evil woman’s act. I swear that they have a taped script in which they simply used the same voice for evil characters. hohoho. BWHAHAHA. mwhahaha. Yea.

So there we go, for the preview next week, we would see Saito increasing his harem by probably pwning the hell out of something or someone.

Can’t wait!!!!

Screenshots below: