So powerful was the Kotoko slap that Non-chan needed a neck brace afterward.

Man studying for finals in this heat wave is a bitch, but at least Naoki has finally stopped being a jerk for once though it might be due to Non-chan being the biggest jerk ass for the episode. It was still though a nice change from the usual Naoki is a jerk Kotoko whack him again they make up routine. Perhaps now the real fun can begin.

Old bag, that’s not even enough for one box of juice, hell they don’t take bottle caps either…

WTF you doing here?

Oh browsing for false malpractice clients…

Non-chan is an all round bitch who’s so full of himself that if it were translated into real fat he’d be wider than the head nurse. I was so elated when Kotoko slapped the snot out of that smug bastard and told him to “grow up and be a man!” Hell fucking yeah Kotoko! Shit Kotoko out fucking manned Non-chan who looks like a lady.  The only thing that would have been better was if Kotoko didn’t hold the prima donna’s hand and told him to grow a pair. I am glad Keita decided to protect his under age lover only I really would have wanted to see Keita knock out Non-chan in one devastating blow. The fat maggot Yuuki finally got his come uppance in Non-chan, who made the fat kid feel inferior and also toyed with Yuuki’s heart. The old bag was finally forced to get up and walk, boo hoo what a fucking tragedy. Well at least the old hag will be behaving from now on, because Non-chan’s bitch-fu is greater.

Well next time there will be some birthday fun…

You are still pretty fat…

Keita needs a head band…

So which of you isn’t a cylon?

Naoki was finally tired of being an asshat!

Kotoko: more manly than Naoki.

You’re attempted headbutt is full of lose and fail, Non-chan.

Oh good grief now she’s stealing from the vending machines…

Yep, Kotoko still looks 17.

Wow Chris called it first…

So this post is again late mostly because the DoD ID Card folks were closing earlier than they used to, much to my misfortune I had to make an unplanned over night stay. It also didn’t help that I was playing Castle Crashers with some friend the previous night. So here it is the once again late post for Itazura na Kiss…

This is exactly how it happened, had Naoki had the foresight ot ask Machiko to get the flowers before hand… Stupid Naoki.

This applies to both of them…

Why are you so fat? I thought you were a health care professional…seems you can’t even take care of yourself so what prayer do her patients have I wonder.

So Kotoko finally gets to graduate from nursing school, but the fat lady is a moron who not only thinks that Kotoko can absorb intelligence from Naoki via diffusion. Though Kotoko is amazing and great, it is not that simple or easy much as Kotoko wishes it were so. Moto-chan gets the shaft and was almost refused his cap for a lousy hanky with the medical symbol for the males. This to me is sad and it makes sense that the cult of nursing has so few men amongst its ranks. If they just dispensed with the nurse title and just lump the men under the title of “medic” at least recruitment would go up since an M-4 Carbine or FN P-90 is usually standard issue for medics. Alas old ways die hard. At least Moto-chan got her special hat.

That must be some hat Moto-chan wants…

Lousy old coot if it were me subbing in for a unit’s Aspirin Jesus nurse I would have thrown a chamber pot at her so she would at least reek of something other than old…

Indeed Dr. Touma has some outrageously bad hair.

Naoki was a bastard again but he finally did show up even if he was late. If nothing else at least Naoki is fighting off new suitors for Kotoko who seem to be coming out of the wood work. I guess Naoki being a jerk has warded off all the other women while now that some boys have grown into men they decided that going for the stupid girl wasn’t such a bad idea. If Naoki pisses off Kotoko again I hope Naoki ends up with that old hag who’s been stalking him. Speaking of the old bag I hate the bitch good to see that her inner ugliness has found expression in her old crone body. I think I know why old hag hates on Kotoko, for you see Kotoko will always look 17 no matter how much time passes…unlike some old hag who 50 years ago was still fugly. That is why old bag is alone that is why she never had a husband for her whole life if she ever says other wise it is obviously a lie, for no man would accept such a faithless and lecherous old hag.

I give them 2 more years…

…

That is a problem how…?

Keita while losing Kotoko seems to have gotten the attentions of a high school kid, while the age disparity disturbs me to a degree I want poor Keita to be happy with his future young waifu. The poor guy deserves something to make up for his efforts that helped make Kotoko happy again. Unlike Hinano I know why they have not fired Kotoko yet, as Nurse Kotoko is the perfect solution to bad patients like the old bag. So it seems that Quattro Bajeena who was a former friend of Yuuki from way back when, has come to take Kotoko away. May Naoki squirm MOAR!

Well at least this Char isn’t a pedo…

Lalah Sune how I missed you…

Lalah…? I guess looking 17 has is down side too.

Yeah Naoki isn’t still supposed to be sucking.

Ah yes so finally the Keita vs Naoki arc ends with a Kotoko victory, Naoki is so very lucky to have her even if he doesn’t deserve her in the first place. I really sympathized with Kotoko this time since she felt things had just gone back to the way things were in a one sided marriage. Kin chan gets his revenge and mocks Naoki for being and idiot. Chris gets Kin-chan to marry and forces him to propose twice. Keita disappointed and burned simply walks away while the whole cafeteria gets to see Kotoko triumph once again over her cold hard headed husband.

Poor Kotoko feels like its back to the old days…

If you love her an you know and you really want to show it clap your hands…Is that really so hard Naoki? Can you even clap?

So have the rest of us…

Yeah Naoki this isn’t high school anymore…

Man is Naoki the biggest man baby in all of anime or what? He never felt this, he never felt that. I just hope the next thing he feels is a Kotoko slap since he got one off of Kotoko. Stupid Naoki ignoring Kotoko like that, he deserved very book that was thrown at him. Well At least Kotoko will be getting a lot of make up kisses.

Kotoko – 40, Naoki – 0

No one likes a sore loser Keita…

Go Chirs!

Oh wow now even Char Quattro Bajeena is trying to get Kotoko now.

Yeah, because Keita is into stupid girls and not necrophiliacs…

Another week another episode of Itazura to watch, sorry for the lateness of this post but school has been kicking my ass and I have to work roughly 12 hours a day for Uncle Sam… (Incidentally writing an InK post is a great way relax after a day of “hurry up and wait”) As aggravating as my job can sometimes get, Naoki still takes the prize for most annoying thing foe me this week. I understand that Kotoko has worked hard to get him to marry her but the lousy jerk is so smug in his own sense of superiority that he does nothing to try and make Kotoko happy, granted she’s an idiot but come on some words of encouragement might actually be appreciated. Nevertheless it seems that not only can Keita endure the pain he’s not an ass hat about it either. Even Machiko acknowledges Keita’s superior qualities over Naoki to the point that even she considers her son to be a loser.

Wow and all Keita did was give a heat stroke victim some water…

Good thing Kotoko loves the poor bastard.

You can always forcefully adopt Keita…

While Naoki is being tsunderella to Kotoko it seems Keita is actually capable of affection though he’s a bit on the hot blooded side. Since we all know Keita is harmless and destined to lose Kotoko you have to appreciate the fellow for winning over Machiko as better than Naoki. It was funny to see how Kotoko misread events as her scenario played out with one significant difference. I loved how Machiko force fed that lout Yuuki an iron rich diet that made him most green. Hopefully that ass hat Naoki will realize that having Kotoko in a one sided marriage is not going to be okay for much longer and that it is high time Naoki pulled his weight in their marriage. Kotoko worked hard to get where she was Naoki just got lucky and sat there coasting along not doing anything for anyone but himself. Now that Kotoko has proved that the stupid girl isn’t always the one who has to do the wooing that Naoki makes his own grand gesture instead of mouthing off. It’s not like Kotoko could have figured it out before hand that Keita likes stupid girls. Geeze Kotoko had to suffer the likes of Matsumoto and that stupid bitch during their honeymoon, Naoki better not hold it against Kotoko for attracting unwanted attention. Where Naoki had quantity it seems that Kotoko attracts quality.

Next time Naoki pouts some more while Kin-chan gets his revenge and rubs it in.

Shut up and eat fat boy.

Poor Keita is trapped…

Oh yeah like that is going to make Kotoko crazy for you…

Indeed. Kotoko you ready to kick some ass? Great war face by the way.

Well with the start of this new arc we finally have a challenger that will make Naoki squirm. Kamogari Keita has stepped up to make Naoki feel the suffering that Kotoko felt when she was chasing his sorry ass. I like that! While technically there are three new rivals they are of no concern especially the local trap, Motoki whose voice is so hoarse that even an idiot like Kotoko was alerted to his true disposition.

Fear, is the beginning of wisdom.

Motoki have very poor trap stealth.

Seems Kotoko may be immune to fear but not immune to terror.

While we seem to be moving a breakneck speed I don’t particularly mind given how much ground they have to cover, while it would be nice if they could do more episodes I guess it is better to cover more ground than to focus on a single arc. Most of the charm for Itazura na Kiss is that it chronicles the full run of Kotoko and Naoki’s relationship and had it ended at marriage it would have been kind of a downer. So long as I am grinning gleefully and madly during each episode I will not complain.

Yes, but my dear Kotoko all you need is a quality admirer to make up for the legions of shoddy Naoki fangirls.

Look at best with your inferior genes the best you could hope for is mediocre children.

I am just loving this diction.

So a couple new faces have shown up and it seems that Naoki despite being married has many admirers of little threat to Kotoko’s position. However this is the first time we actually have a more serious contender for Kotoko, and already Naoki is losing territory to the Keita assault. Hopefully Naoki will play it smart and stop being a flirt or keep Kotoko at arms length. Nevertheless drunken Kotoko is awesome and terrifying to behold, hopefully there will be more drinking in the future. Hopefully Naoki will be aghast when he finds out more about Moto-chan… I cannot wait to see Naoki go beg Machiko for her help against Keita, oh how I hope the tables will turn.

You say something punk?

Keita got nasty, and Kotoko got good and sore. Kotoko almost climbed over the table at Keita.

God, she was mad. I wished she had socked him.

Man this makes me feel triumphant for some reason. Indeed there is no substitute for victory.

So other than Kin-chan acting like a douche it was almost a very momentous episode, but it seems that even the almighty Machiko can be wrong sometimes… Dang I was looking forward to a new addition to the Irie Family. In any case Kin-chan tries to blow Chris off because he’s loud and stupid.

Well they did have a very intimate honeymoon…

Sorry, but feel free to try and expedite the process…

Poor Kotoko.

Good thing Chiris is a fighter and will continue to ATTACK Kin-chan until he changes his mind. A most wise decision since having Kotoko around ensures that Chris will soon be a master of the doctrine. I was disappointed to see that Kotoko was not really pregnant with child because that would have just been awesome. Hopefully Machiko and the rest of the family will take it well, once news gets out that it was just an upset stomach. That or the doctor was a quack. Good news is that Kotoko passed the test to become a nurse and hopefully her class mates won’t be insufferable.

ATTACK!

No Mercy, No Respite!

Do or do not there is no try.

HELL FUCKING YES! It’s not wife beating, it’s a Hawaiian kiss!

Well it’s been a long time since my last post on Itazura na Kiss, the problem is not that I don’t enjoy the series, but its just that I am usually at a loss for words to describe the utter joy at watching it. I am trying to find a suitable format since as a series goes it’s fairly simple and really doesn’t warrant a tl;dr kind of post that I seem prone to. Nevertheless hopefully this new shorter format will be better suited for the task. (Song of the post is Jimmy Soul’s “If you Wannabe Happy”)

Machiko has one last wedding gift for Naoki.

Machiko made you, Naoki, so you can give heart heart to Kotoko.

But you’re ass belongs to Mother.

Time to put Naoki in a dress for talking back to mum…

So Kotoko and Naoki are happily married for life, but some bitch named Mari wants to intrude. Like any old worn out slut Mari is still hitting on men while she is married. Suffice to say I was delighted that Machiko a mysterious stranger kept beaning the bitch with a ball. To add icing on the cake Mari gets rejected by Naoki because he likes stupid girls and not slutty broads. Horiuchi did finally man up and slap his useless wife like the lousy crack whore that she was, suffice to say the local authorities have ignored all calls regarding domestic abuse from Mari, citing the “law does not give two shits for arrogant boards” clause regarding allegations of domestic abuse.  Mari was also aggravating local Hawaiian Police by calling them ugly gaijin, in Hawaii. In later years Horiuchi used all manner of weapons to beat some sense into Mari’s air filled head, culminating in a .50 cal Barrett at long range when Mari tried to chase Naoki across the Pacific. Kotoko donated the rifle and a very special cartridge, dubbed “Here’s Looking at you Bitch.”

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a stupid girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a Kotoko girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make a Kotoko woman your wife
you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
A Kotoko woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind

It was nice to see that even after marriage that things don’t always end right there. While Kotoko was jealous and wary of Mari, I forgive the Irie waifu because Mari was an imminent threat that demanded a pre-emptive strike. Even if Kotoko is dumb I like how she never slept around in high school like some other dumb sluts in other series, but waited for that special some one rather than giving it away whenever her man had blue balls. Suffice to say I am glad we left them to their own devices at the end as I have no desire to intrude upon the culmination of Kotoko’s triumphant honeymoon.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Always make a stupid Kinnosuke your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get the dumb cook to marry you

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and reject anyway
Though her face is pretty, her moles don’t match
Take it from me, she’s a terrible catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a F-Class girl to marry you

Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your Mari the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an’ she’s ug-leeee!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can’t cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a stupid girl to marry you

Machiko is my hero she let out Naoki’s secret in front of every one just to relieve her own guilt. What an awesome mother in law. I suspect that Naoki can now never divorce Kotoko because Machiko will not allow it. Poor Chris is still wasting her self trying to get Kin-chan who really has to get over the fact that Kotoko is married and that divorce is nigh impossible. Besides Chris is filthy rich and wants to date a loser like him, such a thing is rare at this point Kin-chan should just give Chris a shot. Well hopefully next time Chris will be able to beat some sense into her idiot suitor, and with a little Kotoko power Kin-chan will be licking the ground she walks on in no time at all.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a Kotoko girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a F-Class girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get a humble girl to marry you

I do not know why no one other than Hinano seems to be interested in this series. I actually watched the 14th episode today and hell, I got the freaking shock of my entire life. I am now kyaa-ing (even though only fangirls are technically the only gender that kyaas) so much over the episode that I just have to make a post about the *cough cough* c-word.

That said, my girlfriend just went batshit fangirl as well watching this episode. It’s just one of the best episodes for this anime series and I really think any shoujo fan has to pick up Itazura no Kiss for viewing. This post will be likely filled with fanboy/fangirl loving, so beware of the consequences.

Oh yes, please *take note that it’s actual dialogue translated without edits*, so if you fear extreme spoilers, please do not go on.

Impressions

Just follow Hinano’s link above if you are interested to have a very brief summary of what happened. I personally felt that the episode is way too fast, but it really brings a smile to my face (and made me kyaa like a total fanboy). The episode started with the confession that is translated below. Irie decides to go home and convinces Kotoko’s father for Kotoko’s hand, and Irie decides to marry Kotoko after they graduate. Irie’s mother is of course delighted with the advancement. Eventually, everyone gave their blessing, and Irie’s mother decides that they should get married before Irie changes his mind. So, they did GET married after one week.

Yes, reality is totally thrown out of the freaking window. Who cares, seriously. My girlfriend and I are somewhat swearing (without cussing) at the end of the show, because both of us will want to kill the director if this turns out to be an extended dream. It just feels so surreal, so sweet, so cute and so loving that I cannot fathom this happening in one single episode. It almost killed me with ectasy and happiness when I watch this. Whoever is still following Itazura no Kiss should celebrate the greatness of this episode.

Throw your cynicism and realism aside for just this episode, and just absorb the cute and sweet love between Kotoko and Irie. YAY!

After rejecting Kin-chan, Irie surprisingly was waiting for Kotoko at the train station.

Kotoko: I am going to leave your house. I already discussed it with father. I will no longer be an obstacle for your marriage. I will marry Kin-chan. In that case, everyone will be happy. Irie will be with Chris. I will be helping Kin-chan and Father in the store.

Irie: Do you love him?

Kotoko: Of… of course! Kin-chan has loved me since the first year of high school.

Irie: Even though someone tells you their feelings, does it mean that you love him back?

Kotoko: Why not? I am tired of the five years of unrequited love for you ! You just need to think about Chris. For me…

Irie: The person you love is me. You do not love any other guy except me.

Kotoko: Why? Why are you sure?

Kotoko: Yes! Yes, you are right! But… but I do not have any choice. You do not love me, so…

Cue the K-word. Kiss, by the way, not kyaa.

KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Kotoko: Irie-kun… Why?

Irie: Do not say that you like any other guy anymore.

Getting a boyfriend is tough, but for lovable lasses like Miya here reading this post could help her come up with a winning plan to make Lulu her HUNNI. Ah music to me ears.

Well I guess waiting for the professor to compile all the data from every land is now the norm so in the mean time I guess more posting time. So this post has been incubating on my hard drive for sometime ever since True Tears ended but it has been expanded quite a bit since then.

As a military man I simply adore how shoujo shows have one thing that most other genres lack, doctrine. While there is many a mecha pilot and shounen brat that is ready and eager to charge forth into the fray, this to me is at best some piss poor doctrine and a serious lack there of at worst. In any case the typical shoujo Heroine displays far more tactical and strategic acumen at achieving her objectives so here is a breakdown of a few that I have come across, this list is by no means comprehensive and I hope that a few of you have some proposals of your own. Like war for the shoujo heroine there is no substitute for victory in her love life and in her struggles all is fair, though not all is right. To form a coherent doctrine she has to break things down into strategy (over all vision of how to achieve her goals), operational art (amassing the resources she needs where and when she needs them), and tactics (what she does in every date/meeting). It is no simple task and while there are preferred doctrines proper execution and the will to win remain key to a decisive victory.

Blitzkrieg

Best feint ever…

The crème de la crème of love doctrines being the most commonly used with varying degrees of success. Within Blitzkrieg positional confrontations are to be avoided, with mobility, combined arms, flexibility, and snap decision making being the hallmarks of good modus operandi of successful practitioners. While tactical elegance is usually a given strategic planning is not, even with 100 successful tactical victories in dates, it can still be all undone if those victories are not used wisely. Advances may also be limited with regards to limitations in income which affect operational art. With regards to the target (i.e. the hapless boy the shoujo has set her sights on) an armored thrust along a narrow front violently executed will be part of her opening moves to penetrate the target’s defenses and garner the target’s immediate attention along with daze, fear, and confusion. While maintaining momentum and tactical initiative the shoujo will endeavor to bypass all strong points and effect a full encirclement on her target. Once this is achieved swift capitulation by her target will be forth coming as her man/woman will have no choice but to submit to her will. Hopefully by this stage her target will be over awed enough to the point that capitulation will be swift, final, and voluntary.

Noted Practitioners

Amu’s numerous Shugo Chara allow her to be flexible in offense and defense.

Hinamori Amu (Shugo Chara) – with her very own combined arms team of Ran (Panzer Grenadier), Miki (Heavy Panzer Abteilung), Su (Pioneer/Combat Engineer), and Eru (Artillery) her ability to punch through defensive lines is unparalleled with her subsequent domination over Ikuto, Tadase, Kukai, and Kairi. Her rapid progress on no less than four fronts is nothing short of amazing. Sadly her lack strategic vision as to who she wants to end up with (this blogger is of the opinion that Ikuto is the only choice) may hamper her ultimate success. Her repeated victories over Utau are nothing short of love-field judo that has left Utau beaten and almost broken.

The most loved of all losers in love.

Isurugi Noe (True Tears) – One of the most famous contributors to the doctrine, her plight bitterly demonstrated what a lack of strategic vision could do to an expert tactician. Unfortunately for Noe that while she was able to achieve in mere months where it took her rivals years was nothing short of amazing her ultimate objective was not secured quickly enough. Too late did Noe realize who it was that she loved and too late did she realize the efforts of her Nii-san Ally resulting in her defeat. Shinichiro was able to avoid a complete encirclement by Noe and affected a head long retreat to Hiromi’s formidable defensive works. Once there a long drawn out siege was deemed untenable and Noe moved on with her life blessing the life of a better, luckier, and worthier man. Shinichiro would never forget what could have been and Hiromi was forced to acknowledge Noe’s superiority in tactics.

Shock and Awe

Hime was shocked, but will hime be awed?

Much like the afore mentioned Blitzkrieg this doctrine also emphasizes combined arms, but with displays of overwhelming power, dominant environmental awareness, dominant maneuvers, and spectacular displays of force to paralyze the targeted boy’s/girl’s perception of his/her little world and destroy his/her will to resist her affections. She must seize control of the environment and paralyze or so overload her rivals’ and beloved’s perceptions and understanding of events that the beloved and any rivals would be incapable of resistance at the tactical and strategic levels. The failings of this doctrine with regards to maintaining such high levels of power meant that it is a strategy for the short term. Love wars of attrition should be avoided where ever possible and there are limitations to sustainability as it is a very resource (money and time) intensive method. The key to success is to achieve rapid dominance and make off with the objective as quickly as possible in 13 episodes or less. If the series is to last longer than 13 episodes victory is no longer guaranteed and use of surges might be necessitated to keep her in the fight.

Noted Practitioners

That’s the Shock and Awe spirit for you.

Sheryl Nome (Macorss Frontier) – while Sheryl’s initial objectives were at first unclear her ability to achieve rapid dominance over her Alto-hime was swift and nearly decisive. Only a last minute propaganda victory by Ranka prevented a quick conclusion to what will now be a drawn out slugfest. Despite Alto-hime’s initial misgivings and wariness Sheryl was able to use great displays of Sheryl power to overwhelm him and secure his friendship often leaving her beloved speechless and at a loss for words with but a kiss. Unfortunately for Sheryl her falling victim to Grace means that she will have to initiate a surge in order to secure Alto-hime’s undying affections. Her task is also complicated by the fact that her beloved is highly desired by everyone else on Frontier.

When I first saw this series I thought that this was just yuri-baiting, and how delightfully wrong I was.

Chikane Himemiya (Kannazuki no Miko) – The premier theorist and most successful practitioner of Shock and Awe, Chikane was able to delay her offensive until the last moments to achieve complete strategic and tactical surprise on both her rival Soma and her beloved Himeko. With her awesome displays of Chikane power Himeko was swiftly taken and Soma was sent packing in short order. Such was her mastery of the doctrine that her yuri-love trumped out a more traditional and expected relationship. While her campaign is fraught with controversy, Chikane demonstrated that for all her questionable actions, that there is no substitute for victory. Like a master she achived all her initial goals in 12 episodes rather than the allotted 13.

…and that would be the last mistake Katsura’s enemy would ever make.

Kotonoha Katsura (School Days) – the most heavy handed of the Shock and Awe theorists Katsura suffered much during her long campaign to win the head of Itou. Where her rivals all attempted to and succeeded in sleeping with her prize, Katsura triumphed over them all once she gained the ability and ruthlessness to use Katsura power in sharp and awesome displays of her dominance. Where her rivals all ended up sluts, riddled with STDs, and in one case dead, Katsura was forcible deflowered but remained innocent as her consent was not given and her assailant was not Itou. Nevertheless despite the costly battles once Katsura amassed the operational requirements, her vengeance and victory were decisive and final. Sekai and her unborn bastard were left dead, and her other rivals soon all succumbed to all manner of diseases forced into perpetually single as no man or woman would take them for lovers. Katsura won the head of the bastard Itou and sailed off to distant lands with all of her power and wealth. It is said that she made a drinking goblet out of Itou’s skull, but as to her true fate, that has faded into legend.

People’s War

This victory belongs to Ranka and all who supported her.

Often the preferred doctrine of shoujo who are born or possess more humble, though not communist, means, People’s War favors infiltration tactics by a shoujo with more limited resources, and relies on effective local support to achieve her aims. Hallmarks of this doctrine include:

1: A short artillery bombardment to start any offensive action, featuring heavy shells mixed with numerous caterpillar projectiles, which would concentrate on neutralizing the target’s and rivals’ front lines, rather than on destroying them by itself.

2: Under a creeping barrage, shock trooper shoujo would move forward and infiltrate the boy’s/girl’s defenses at previously identified weak points. She would avoid combat whenever possible and attempt to destroy or capture the target’s headquarters and artillery strong points.

3: After the shock trooper shoujo and her local support had done their job, units heavily equipped with cake and chocolate would make heavy attacks along narrow fronts against any of her beloved’s strong points the shock trooper shoujo missed. When the artillery and locals were in place, she could direct the fire wherever it was needed to accelerate the breakthrough.

4: In the last stage of the assault, she and her local allies would mop up any remaining resistance.

It is a costly doctrine to employ and often entails an emotional toll that is at times too awful to contemplate, however if a shoujo sees things through to the end her target and her rivals may be bleed white to the point that she is the one with the last 1000 valentine chocolates. It is a more attrition oriented doctrine that rewards patience and tenacity in face of daunting odds.

Noted Practitioners

Ranka during the Birthday Offensive.

Ranka Lee (Macross Frontier) – despite Sheryl’s early and dramatic successes, effective local support enabled Ranka to stay in the fight to achieve her grandiose public relations victory securing for Ranka the attentions of Alto-hime, where her initial overtures often fell flat. Stealth was her favored means of achieving her goals and she achieved great success in her first film by getting a kiss from her hime. Ranka continues to draw upon strong local support, but currently lacks the means to consolidate her gains due to the lack of comparative Ranka power in comparison to Sheryl. With Sheryl now on the defensive it remains to be seen if Ranka can maintain her recent gains.

A masterfully done feigned sleep by Aihara.

Aihara Kotoko (Itazura na Kiss) – the most noted advocate of People’s War whose eventual victory is all but assured. Despite lacking overwhelming Kotoko power Aihara enjoys unparalleled local support from her future mother in law, and her allies. While her beloved Naoki remains defiant every observer has noted that his ability to mount continued resistance is fading fast. We are in effect seeing the last throes of the Naoki resistance in a few months time he will take Aihara’s name and wear a nurse outfit. Kotoko’s most determined rival is a petty princess who while exceeding Kotoko’s intelligence is nonetheless losing to the “stupid girl.” Nevertheless with ultimate victory and Naoki’s unconditional surrender a good many weeks away Kotoko will have to endure much hardship to be happy, but she will be happy in the end. Episode 14 just aired Kotoko has won a hard earned victory, the War of Naoki’s Ring is now officially over with Naoki’s unconditional surrender to Kotoko. The terms of Reiko’s surrender were notably Carthaginian.

Once again Risa receives aid from an unexpected source…

Risa Koizumi (Lovely Complex) – one of the most famous, but at least the tallest contributors to the theory, Risa’s campaign was a long and hard fought one. Many were the times in which thing looked bad, but with decisive local support she fended off her rivals and would be suitors to win her prize. Her collective title of Hanshin Kyojin with her beloved chibi is a testament to her arduous campaign where her tenacious nature proved that love knows no height. Despite the hard fought nature of her offensive, her terms were rather generous to the vanquished and her beloved. May she be as happy as she is tall.

Methodical Battle

Hiromi works out in her fortress of doom during the War of Shinichiro’s Picture Book.

The most time intensive doctrine available and preferred method of childhood friend types, Methodical Battle is the least flexible of all doctrines. Entrenchment and establishing of extensive defense in depth are required for successful implementation. The goal is to establish such an intricate defense that no rival can hope to assail the methodical bishoujo in her fortress of doom. Fatal errors include the possibility that her defense may be flanked and the chance that an airborne coup de main can dig her out of her fortifications in short order. Thus a defense be lavishly provided for with fortified rooms within or near a target’s house and a deep system of block houses and forts to delay her rivals as long as possible. The ultimate weapon however remains childhood memories and preferably a yubikiri and first kiss. With these a methodical bishoujo cannot lose because she has already been chosen from the outset. Timing is critical however and while her defensive lines are formidable she must keep her beloved within the deepest layers of her defense and hope that her center of gravity is never struck. If the lynchpin of her defenses (i.e. childhood memories) is compromised her defensive line might become irreversibly compromised.

Noted Practitioners

How I wish Shinichiro took her up on that.

Hiromi Yuasa (True Tears) – The most controversial advocate of Methodical Battle, Hiromi was able to camp out in her beloved’s home for many moons allowing her to construct an elaborate defense that Shinichiro retreated to in the face of the Noe Blitzkrieg. While she was almost fatally flanked and destroyed her masterful appeals for Noe’s pity were sufficient to delay Noe long enough to prevent a complete encirclement of the objective. While the landmines will require years to clear, Hiromi won a costly victory without having decisively vanquished the memories and deeds of Noe Isurugi. Long will Shin remember Noe, and long will Hiromi feel the effects of her very close defeat at Noe’s hands. At least she has her man and the fact remains that there is no substitute for victory.

Stop screaming Jinko…

Ah the bitterness of finals how well I know it and how much I loathe it. Kotoko and her class are indeed pathologically stupid, but I guess that is why they have to make up for it a low cunning. Except of course Kin-chan whose ambition in life is incredibly simple, everyone else on the other hand has a burning desire to get into college.

…

…

I see that this one reacts to boys.

So Kotoko and her friends decide to form a study group, sadly their collective cognitive abilites are not match for the plethora of subjects they must master. In then end the habitually petition for Naoki’s help despite his initial refusals until he can resist no more and ends up solving the whole book for them. Emboldened by their success the rest of F-class infiltrated the Irie home in groups of one to two million at a time to get their answers. Irie was compelled to fulfill their will as he was but one against many. Had he refused he and his ugly shouta would have been torn to ribbons and then devoured by F-class to try and gains tome genius genes.

It’s the thought that counts right?

…

Sadly those F-Class Kids never thought much…

In the end the operation was a success and most of F-class was able to pass. Their futures assured they set out to gift Naoki-hime something. Kotoko works hard to get gifts for the family and shells out a lot for Naoki-hime. F-class gets Naoki-hime a modern art Kotoko which he has to keep. Kotoko gets him a bracelet or as I call it a wrist collar. Being the thoughtless twit that he is Naoki-hime has no gifts to give on Christmas, and neither does that Yuki fag, so Machiko makes him take a picture with Kotoko. Sadly in his tsun tsun insolence he ruined it by whispering something in Kotoko’s ear rather than nibble on it…

To paradise?

What he’s into yaoi?

And Kotoko will definitely be happy.

So Naoki seems to be falling ever so slightly for Kotoko and seems to actually want to go somewhere in life rather than just be bored out of his genius mind. I guess that they are blitzing their way through this and from what I have heard it’s not until the college arc that things get fun. At any rate Naoki-hime’s resistance is weakening and in the end Kotoko will be happy.

Every time I watch this show I seem to get a bit too jittery, but I guess Kotoko is just that damn awesome. For some one who is supposed to be a block head Kotoko is fearless and inventive. As Jabba would say she’s my kind of scum. If Kotoko is an unrequited love fighter then Machiko, I mean mum, is her chief of staff. Thank goodness there was no overly long recycling of footage this time around. No doubt this is all according to Machiko’s keikaku.

I hate that little fucker Yuki as far as I am concerned Kotoko should have let the fucker drown as a service to all of humanity. What douche for a smart kid he draws worse than my infant cousin…I prophecy to you this that in a few years time that when Yuki ends up some smelly loser hikkomori that his dreams of being a doujin artist will be crushed. I look forward to see his sorry ass as that ne’er do well uncle that is always begging Kotoko for money. Oh and when he gets old enough girls will reject him left and right yes even those with yaoi paddles. Oh yeah and your cake you little fat fuck Kotoko ruined it on purpose! I also take it that the fat fuck is also planning on breaking into to Kotoko’s room, truly the heresy of this most ugly of shoutas knows no bounds of decency. Oh and he will still be bathing with his parents at age 40.

In any case Kotoko’s procrastination is not one of her good points I favor getting homework done before any vacation time that way I can goof off without worry. At any rate poor Kin-chan tries so hard to impress Kotoko I hope he cherishes what little time he has left with her. Tsuderella Naoki plays a tame, if not altogether wimpy, sport tennis. I guess Naoki-hime can’t be bothered to clean a rifle. Well looks like Machiko has been hard at work in delaying the construction of the Death Star Irie-Aihara palace, no doubt the final lay out will conform to Machiko’s keikaku! Tsunderella is up to his age old eavesdropping ways and vowing to never marry Kotoko claims some sort of right to choose. Too bad Machiko is his mum and mum knows best. Naoki-hime will be wed to a woman of Machiko’s choice; desire will be won later…

At the pool Naoki-hime gets dupped into conforming to his mum’s plans, genius my ass…Naoki-him is no match for the guile and cunning of his mother. As far as swimsuit rankings go Satomi wins with her two piece and pony-tail, Kotoko sadly only choose her school one. You know I bet Kin-chan has numerous enemies of the male variety given how he gets to hang out with girls and still remain hetero. Still I wonder how many more grand gesture Kin-chan has up his sleeves. I still sympathize with the guy because Kotoko doesn’t love him that way. The guy mixed up his friend and boy friend applications and got hired as a friend.

I really wished that it was Kin-chan who rescued that Yuki brat so that Yuki would forever be scarred with Kin-chan giving him CPR as his first and last kiss. I will never forget how uncomfortably bro-con his plea for Naoki to save him was. Naoki’s defense is as Machiko said crumbling. One more push, one more charge and Naoki-hime will be begging Kotoko for a dayto. At least Kotoko forced Naoki to save her and cook for her. I trust that Naoki had to do the dishes.

Kotoko’s plan to infiltrate Naoki-hime’s room was inspired if somewhat poorly executed. I just love how she re-jigged that fat fuck Yuki’s homework, and in one swift stroke forever altered his homework and proved her superiority once again by demonstrating her artistic prowess. Tsunderella’s attempted rape gambit was full of lose and fail. Not only did Kotoko manage to deceive him into surrendering his notes, she also compelled him to help her. Well done Kotoko the OKA is proud of your tactical brilliance and cunning. As for Machiko we recognize her operational brilliance and command of logistics in making Kotoko’s tactical victories possible. Naoki-hime might do well on tests but in the real world Kotoko will time and again prove that he is but a child. Everything is proceeding as Machiko has foreseen, already Naoki is starting to get confused when it comes to Kotoko.

Next time all of F-Class will be reinforcing Kotoko in another offensive. Naoki’s compliance is assured…I just loved how in the end despite all the Irie’s snark and insults that Kotoko turned the tables with devastating effect upon both the Irie brothers. When I become a parent I want ot just like Machiko and keep my unruly children in line whether they know it or not…Lastly Evil Kotoko is awesome. Kokoto will be Happy!

Riex adds: Witness my struggle to weave words in a manner that emulates those of the great Crusader-sama. Alright, nevermind…I’m too lazy. I was going to jump on Itazura, but our resident ammunitions expert beat me to it. Now he does the majority of the work and I get to drop by with comments like: “It’s awesome how I watch every episode of Itazura with a smile of enjoyment on my face.” or “Naoki’s resolve is weak! A real man would either stick to his guns, or finish that “attempted rape gambit” instead of being such a push over!” or possibly “Kotoko should never wear pigtails! Ever!”. Look for better commentary next week…and Crusader just kills this whole writing thing doesn’t he? Two thumbs up.

Worry not mein Hauptman soon those tears will be tears of joy for your fairy god mother Noe will be there to help you force Naoki to submit to your will.

Well the first 2 minutes were a waste of time, but hoho Naoki’s pathetic resistance is nearly at it s end. In fact we are now in the death throes of this Naoki insurgency, and I think Kotoko, while being an idiot at times, is one of those blessed ones that Bismarck often spoke of. After all God does have special providence for children, fools, drunks and the United States of America. Kotoko is indeed a fool, but a fool that is in love. In any case F-class proves their superiority over those A-class mongrels, though we all know Naoki won because he wanted to jump Kotoko more than Kin-chan…

Ah the old fashioned way nowadays kids sent out love letters as text messages…

No..but hey you might be a switch.

Kotoko the Unrequited Fighter!

I have to say that I found that my heart of ice melted slightly to see Kotoko lament her situation. I don’t think it was emo in the slightest because well she could do nothing to change her heart in an instant. Poor girl he first love letter went unread and she had the misfortune of falling for a bully, its okay if she has to cry herself to sleep given the circumstances. Naoki is a mean bastard, thankfully even he was forcefully moved to pit and read her letter; I trust that it had the desired effect. Full throttle Kotoko, full throttle!

Correction Kotoko is not covering for him she is going to cover him in a big blanket of love.

No twas an excellent plan if Naoki will not submit then his parents can still arrange a marriage in your favor mein Hauptmann!

Already he is jealous one more surge and he’s finished!

Pony tail Kotoko is adorable twin tailed Kotoko, not so much. Machiko needs to play with Kotoko’s hair more often so that we might avert this tragic of hair styles in the future. Nevertheless the family interference was most welcome as Tsunderella Naoki was unable to effect a breakout from the Kotoko encirclement, with support from Machiko. Too bad Irie the Elder was dragged along for the ride, still good to know that Kotoko has won over her future in-laws. With this Tsunderella shall be betrothed to Kotoko! Still that whole running to Tsuderella hime was by far Kotoko’s darkest hour and F-class snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Still Kotoko did force that bully to give her a ride. It was indeed much like the old Roman Truipmphs as Ktotoko rode Tsuderlla proudly through the adoring crowds. F-class 0, Naoki 0, Kotoko 1, Liverpool 3. Machiko and her crew caught it all on tape so that the memory of Kotoko’s Triumph shall never fade.

What honor this Kin-chan has! Were he a lesser man he would have taken full advantage of this situation.

Quit yapping start galloping Tsuderella.

Nay to the church! Here’s your gown, the rings, and bouquet.

Poor Kin-chan tried so hard to beat Tsunderella but it was all in vain though his sacrifice was not in vain. Kin-chan’s martyrdom resulted in Tsunderella admitting that his feelings mighty nay will change. Good thing Kotoko can carry on and most gloriously did she slap the shit out of Naoki-hime. Nevertheless Kin-chan’s timely arrival did aver a greater domestic dispute, though at least Machiko was delighted to see that her NaokixKotoko shipping was not just a mere fantasy. Kotoko is indeed popular, and that tomorrow Naoki spoke of is closer than he dare imagine…

Yes listen to mum!

Don’t be so modest you were merely giving prophecy.

Sorry man, but prophecy is prophecy.

Also the mysterious fan artist was uncovered. Kotoko is most fortunate to have such friends create KotokoxNaoki propaganda to stir up some couple quarrels in public. So next time pony tail Kotoko makes a triumphant return to bring tomorrow ever so closer.

Kotoko will be Happy!

Kotoko Slap, the ultimate power in the universe. I hope she uses it wisely.

You can at least be polite about it… wow that left a mark didn’t it.

She finds you lack of faith disturbing…

MOAR fan arts! (this one is a Saotomi)

Too bad Naoki won’t reach their hawtness awesome level, man even Junko beats him out by a a factor of five, Saotomi and Kotoko by over 9000. He ought to be grateful that Kotoko would love an ugly troll like him…

Well this is terribly late but if I just finished that boorish historical fan fiction piece that most of the Academic world knows as The History of the Kings of Britain by Geoffrey of Monmouth good thing that even in his day the real historians called it fanciful bullshit and in the 16th Century they finally debunked the work as non-history and established that the author was cutting and pasting in what we could today call plagiarism. I am being overly mean as fiction it is decent if uninspired ego boosting bullshit/Norman and Welsh propaganda. Still for not mentioning Boudica, Queen of the Iceni, I hope Geoffrey of Monmouth burns in hell to be sodomized by Scots, Irish, Picts, Saxons, Romans, Libyans, Parthians, Saxons, and every other group that xenophobic prick wanted to fight.

Impz is busy so you boys and girls are stuck with me this time around, so sorry for the change in structure. So Itazura na Kiss then, well I have to say it was far more entertaining that reading Geoffrey and Kotoko was simply marvelous in her dealings with that uncouth Naoki. Clearly Kotoko was trained at the Dresden Infantry School and has learned to apply Hutier tactics to reduce the pathetic defenses of Naoki…

Yes let him go so we can march him off into some secluded woods to machine gun deal with him.

Yes they do.

Yeah so GTFO you ugly fucker.

After infiltrating herself into the home of Naoki Kotoko has captured a room of her own from that hateful little shouta Yuki Irie after a fierce battle where Kotoko finally brought her flammenwerfer to bear and burned him out sending Yuki into a panic as he ran about nude to the room of Naoki with his pride broken. It was a glorious victory worthy of song. Despite her success her efforts to maintain close contact with Naoki proved to be more difficult than anticipated. Fortunately Kotoko’s stosstruppen training allowed her to cover enough kilometers to close the gap. Interference from Yuki was completely negated by Machiko who expertly tied Yuki down and humiliated him by picking him up as if he were some small animal. The OKA recommends that Yuki be thrown head first into a wood chipper so that Yuki will no longer impede Kotoko’s relentless offensive.

Saving money was a most wise decision. The OKA is against the wasting of funds for clothing.

I trust you repeated this tactic when raising that ugly second child.

Yes the loli-swim gear was most humiliating, save that one for a rainy day.

One of the first fortifications that Kotoko had to overcome was the arrogance of Naoki. To do this she had to do well enough on a test to put Naoki in his place. Despite the initial set backs during her studies, timely support from Machiko delivered vital intelligence to Kotoko. Apparently Naoki was once a seasoned loli trap whose appearance was most feminine and kawaii. Sparing little time Kotoko swiftly used this new weapon to devastating effect. In one bold stroke Kotoko not only humbled Naoki but also forced her opponent to fulfill her will. Clausewitz would have been proud. Now that Kotoko had her boot to Naoki’s throat Naoki had no choice but to help Kotoko study.

Achtung Kotoko has adopted a pony tail, this is fine too.

Your evil laughter is not yet superior, work on it.

This one must be trained so that she may infiltrate to a closer position in future operations. In short move closer.

Her studies bore more than academic fruit as Machiko’s camera pierces earth, cloud, shadow and flesh. So complete was Kotoko’s victory and Machiko’s guile that even more devastating intelligence was gathered much of it would serve to cause Naoki no end of anxiety and fear. It was this ability to muster superior intelligence that resulted in Kotoko conquering Naoki and force him into servitude until the end of her days. Kotoko would claim 50th after her hard work. Naoki got 1st but that was neither unexpected nor Herculean. Success was complete as Naoki was compelled to hold the door for Kotoko and wish her luck. Naoki did recover the photo as Kotoko had promised, but thanks to the efforts of Kin-chan, Satomi, and Jinko knowledge of Naoki and Kotoko’s new found barracks sharing was made into an open secret. Kin-chan though nearly lost his life upon finding out.

My what a convincing trap he was.

You lose.

Not one to show of your whole hand are ya, Kotoko?

The OKA is delighted to see that Kotoko is now at least actively communicating. For his insolence in making Kotoko cry the OKA has demanded vengeance upon Naoki. Fortunately, for him, because Kotoko loves him so much we shall refrain from running him over with a heavy panzer abtielung. The OKA wishes F-Class the best of luck even though they or perhaps because they are all green. Kotoko will definitely be happy!

Poor Kin-chan, worry not for there is another…

We know...

But fear not already we have begun a propaganda offensive of fan art.

The second day of the new releases bring about a slightly different twist. The first day brought more exotic offerings such as Allison to Lillia (that is going to be neglected somewhat by the mainstream audience) and Kure-nai (Go, Murasaki! You are the haughtiest loli I have seen for a while!). You can tell I happily avoided a certain title for commentary due to my dislike of excessive fanservice in general.

Nonetheless, it’s time for shoujo, my favorite genre. How will Itazura no Kiss fare?

Episode summary

Kotoko, a third year student in high school, is rejected by Naoki. She has a crush on him ever since the first year induction ceremony, where Naoki’s wonderful speech and good appearance has entranced her. She tried very hard to study in order to get to the top class, but has always stayed in 3-F. On the other hand, Naoki is in the elite class of 3-A. As she is worried that she will never be able to confess her feelings to Naoki, she decides to give him a confession letter. However, he simply rejected her without hesistating.

During the break, Kotoko’s other friends (Jinko, Satomi and Kinnosuke) try to console her that Naoki is not worth the effort. Kinnosuke goes into over burn mode, and he clearly likes Kotoko (unrequited love). In class, Kotoko tries to forget about Naoko, but knows that she has loved him for 2 years. On their way back, they discuss about Kotoko’s new house, and all her friends discuss about a housewarming party. Kotoko’s only family is her father. Then Naoki walks past the group, as Kinnosuke screams at him. Kinnosuke asks if Naoki has any heart at all, and asks him to respond to Kotoko at least. Naoki simply says that he does not talk to women who are stupid.

That completely hurts Kotoko. In the new house, Kotoko’s friends come to visit, but Kinnosuke becomes agitated after mentioning about Naoki. He knocked on the wall, and the house begins to shake. Everyone leaves the house but Kotoko’s father tries to get his wife’s remains. Just then, the house collapsed on him. In the aftermath, Kotoko’s father miraculously survived completely unhurt as we realize that the “earthquake” caused the vibrations.

With that incident, Kotoko is left without a home. The next day, Kotoko goes to school, with rumors spreading about the collapse of her house. In addition, she mentions that she will stay with her father’s friend and a strange woman secretly taking a picture of Kotoko before escaping. Kinnosuke also tries to drum up some sympathy for a donation drive, but Kotoko simply tells him to keep it low because it is embarrassing. Naoki appears and asks for the two to give way. He continues to talk in a condescending way.

Eventually, he tries to give some cash as he “pities” her, but Kotoko slaps his money away. She says that she is not related to him and does not need his sympathy. Naoki simply turns away and laughs at her. Later that day, Kotoko and her father travels to his friend’s house to stay. Strangely, the family name is Irie and it turns out that her father’s friend is the father of Naoki. He looks on amusingly, while Yuki Irie (Naoko’s younger brother) laughs at Kotoko’s inability to solve a simple primary school question.

Irie’s mother tries to relieve the tension (she is the photo-taking stalker) by bringing Kotoko to her room. Her room is extremely cute but Naoki mentions that he is glad that all the childish stuff are now thrown to her room. Irie’s mother instructs Naoki to help Kotoko with unpacking. As her mother leaves, Naoki is about to help but then mentions that Kotoko did not want his help or sympathy. They close the door on her, leaving her alone in the dark.

Audio

I do not have much to say about the audio to be honest. The OP is an average shoujo-like song. It seems to me that most of the series that have released the past two days have rather mediocre OPs. I have not found one that I can say that “wow, this song is wonderful”. Most of them are either way too quirky, way too off or just so common that it has no striking factor. Mizuki Nana does play Kotoko very well though, and she has interesting voice undertones that is fitting of a cute shoujo lead.

Animation

Something that has often plagued shoujo series is the lack of funding for a nice pretty animation. It’s obvious to tell that Itazura no Kiss does a competently below average job at animation. Some of the character shots are inconsistent, with the faces sometimes lazily animated. Some bits of it is generally due to shoujo inclinations to under-draw features rather than the Clannad-like moe faces. I think I prefer this style. However, I like how this shoujo series does not have an overpoweringly handsome or pretty lead. It makes it more human, I guess.

Background details are sketchy, as like a shoujo series. I do wish that it has a bit more depth in its art. I doubt so though, considering first episodes are a good indication of the graphical quality.

Vibe

You have seen that the last two sections have been rather negative. However, I actually enjoy the first series. Some other bloggers might feel that it is quite conventional and standard fare for shoujo, but I am quite a shocker for the “ordinary girl – cute guy” combination that is rather prevalent in shoujo series. The two characters are definitely parallels, and you will love to hate Naoko until he turns good (as expected).

Plot deepness is probably not the reason why you watch shoujo, but it is the character development that will decide whether it is a good series or not. From the good feedback I heard from those who have watched the drama, I think that there is something good to anticipate from this anime series.

Final thoughts

Despite the rather standard first episode, and the conventional story opening of a shoujo series, Itazura no Kiss does show some promise. If you are a shoujo anime lover, it’s definitely time to cash it on this.