Indeed up until now I never thought that a girl would want to have a mecha boyfriend…

Well after clearing it with the boys on IRC I decided to go back on a series from way back in 2007. At the time Idolmaster didn’t seem to stand out all that much and suffice to say it was pretty average. It had its moments and it had its pit falls. Nevertheless as far as I can tell the mecha was grafted on because it is from Sunrise after all and to be honest I don’t think that deviating from the source material was a bad idea given the nature of the video game. The video game was a rhythm games so I can’t imagine it being top notch story board material. Besides franchises that jump from one media to another can often fail especially given the checkered history of movies and anime based on videogames and much of those unplayable crap games that seek to make a few extra bucks. So if this is a faithless adaptation I guess it might have been the right decision.

Tempestas had an ice cream dispenser.

Iori never let’s her hands off Nebula.

Makoto gives Hiems her lowest score ever one thumb up.

After each mission each Idol harvests the sweat of their pilots for uh…posterity.

Before I go on spoiling it for everyone I recommend Idolmaster to those who are willing to try a non-shounen mecha show. There is not much in the way of epic battles that will induce nerdgasms on the level of Macross Frontier. Even with them breaking out the artillery it’s still pretty much close combat with no swords, burning finger, buster rifle, or a true rocket punch. The thing you have to prepare yourself for is the yuri baiting, a girl who has a mecha for a boyfriend, and a rather sudden and abrupt change in plot pace. If any of those things would put you off this is not for you. However, if you are interested in a fairly decent, but by no means spectacular love story of betrayal, angst, and redemption then this might be for you.

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AGAIN THERE BE SPOILERS HERE.

The crab likes Makoto too.

Sadly this never really goes anywhere…

Not exactly Mai-Otome class yuri baiting, Hagiwara wanted more than a licking.

So, the series kind of dragged early on with a bunch of WTF moments towards the end where the baddies are shitting out Epi-chans and RIFFAs like rabbits. For a non governmental organization they seemed to have built quite a war machine from scratch. So yeah early on they are using the Idols to destroy asteroids because the moon blew up mysteriously 107 years prior. It does go the way of Evangelion in that the big rocks soon take a back seat to human machinations. It was a bit more tolerable though since you could see the eventual betrayal a mile away. If you ignore the premise it becomes a tale of a girl and her mecha, a sort of soldier and his rifle. I would not exactly call it a love story per se, but it becomes one of sorts.

This man is no Gendo-clone…

because he kicks ass and takes names.

Winds of the king

zenshin keritsu

tempa kyouran.

Look the East is Burning Red! Joseph is the Undefeated of the East

Thankfully since the overall story is much less convoluted and avoids the political dorama or pretense of such, thus a lot of things make some sense. It wasn’t as mind raping as Evangelion but there were times when you’d probably scratch your head a bit once the shooting starts, namely how Hagiwara kicks the dog in orchestrating a massacre of women. That was a rather dramatic shift in gears, compared to the rather pleasant first half. The stars of the show are basically the love square of Hagiwara, Haruka, Imber, and Chihaya, with support coming from the sistership of Azusa and Makoto, and in a distant third Iori and Nebula. As a whole the baddies are kind of one dimensional since almost every one who starts as a baddie has one defining trait, even having the Good Guys trying to turn grey it was a mixed result even with the Orbital Ion Cannons since they hardly did anything more that sink an island. The big boss turned out to be a paraplegic in every sense of the word with the evil manthing Karasu having rather weak motivation and he did get pwned by a wall. RIFFA was an annoyance through and through because she was the source of loli-service, but for some reason her insincere attempts at cuteness just made me hate the little fucker and all her clones. I was quite pleased when the purple ray of doom sent them all to mama.

This is Snake. Kept you waiting, huh?

Home in time for dinner.

A RIFFA never lets her prey escape.

It’s a nice axe, I’ll give you that. But the engraving gives you no tactical advantage whatsoever, unless you were planning to auction it off as a collector’s item. And you’re forgetting one more very basic thing… you don’t have what it takes to kill me.

Hey you’re pretty good.

Well enough of that I suppose, so what I did enjoy was Azusa and her little quest to right the wrongs of her mother. It did not detract from the overall story too much as it was a convenient way to set up the eventual showdown. While Azusa was guilty of daddy-con (with the staff being from Mai-Otome) I forgave everything when she had her crowning moment of awesome when she infiltrated the baddie base, killed a RIFFA, and pwned Chihaya. It was sort of Metal Gearish even if she was capable of superhuman feats though I suppose that being an experiment would have made her that way. Still beating a RIFFA to death with her bare hands was awesome. Azusa had an adopted sister who she raised as a replacement and kind of went off the deep end. Makoto’s betrayal was understandable, though her fruitless attempts at trying to hate her Azusa-nee turned out to be a dismal failure. It was sweet in the end when Makoto did colose quarters combat (CQC) on Hagiwara to make the latter shoot Chihaya. Makoto sucked at being a traitor even as a turncoat she never could bring herself to really hurt her old friends. It was kind of sad how Azusa was just as obsessed with her Idol as Chihaya was, but when she finally grew out of it Makoto was already emo. I think Azusa cared, but failed to really show it to Makoto in order to keep things professional and avoid nepotism. Since Makoto was into crabs, of the macroscopic variety, she was already flagged for eventual redemption.

So, the Onee-san’s finally come out of its hole! Are you ready now, my sister?

Why are you calling me sister?! Who the hell are you?!

Okay, let me try to say this another way: stay the hell out of my way.

It must have sucked to see your mum kill your dad and then know that the most hateful enemy weapon was borne from your own flesh or in this case her eggs. While it was not exactly in the Medea tradition it was still really awesome for RIFFA’s real mom to beat the living crap out of them. I have to say it was probably a good thing that Nebula rejected her in the end since Azusa’s awesome levels peaked when she was in that rather tight stealth suit. Given how trite the mecha battles were, her CQC was better used on Chihaya’s who could not do jack out side of a mecha.

Take this!

What the?!

How does it taste?

Naomi?!

Iori really took a backseat in this one since her story was less defined and was more along the lines of her constantly chasing Nebula. That being said Nebula along with Nubilum were manwhores with two pilots each. Tempestas was right up there though liked twins and he preferred them loli. I guess that all three of them were really just otakus at heart with the lolicon tendencies and all. Hagiwara was the most full on traitor whose yuri love for Chihaya basically made her stab Haruka in the back, only to find that Imber was the only thing Chihaya ever really loved. I guess that during her spy training Hagiwara was trained as a pilot as well, and it shows. She was probably the weakest of all the pilots as the only one she could beat up was Haruka and Imber who were very reluctant to fight. Hagiwara’s betrayal did really do a number on Haruka and she did get her just deserts by getting ignored by her Yuri-love. Thankfully Hagiwara didn’t trip up Haruka for very long other wise Haruka would have gone down as the female Shinji Ikari.

Naomi…

I am Lightning…the rain transformed.

Now it’s my turn to protect you, Nee-san.

You ejected the first bullet by hand, didn’t you? I see what you were
trying to do. But testing a technique you only heard about in the middle of
battle wasn’t very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you.
Besides, I don’t think you’re cut out for an automatic in the first place. You
tend to twist your elbow to absorb the recoil. That’s more of a revolver
technique.

Haruka “Baka Ribbon-chan” is love it was a treat to see her finally accept Imber as more than just a friend though it still feels a bit weird given the compatibility issues. Haruka did kind of get possessive of Imber, but no where near the level of Chihaya. Her attempt at fame was at least a reassuring indicator that she was not totally dependent on Imber. Imber is a different sort of fellow I guess that while he is a one woman idol, he nonetheless did love Chihaya at some point but eventually realized the bitch was psycho and was going to make him do very bad things. Chihaya was kind of getting old in years too, so I don’t blame him for ditching her for Haruka. He did at least stay single for a while so he’s not a total man whore. I guess as a male replacement Imber’s not all that bad since he basically doted on Haruka gave her flowers, and let her win at games. It was a rather grand gesture for Imber to throw out Chihaya and catch Haruka to prove his love. While there was that one peculiar instance where Haruka was introducing herself, it stayed within the realm of sweet puppy love. In a way wearing pink was about as flamboyant a declaration of one’s adoration for his girl, pink is a silly color, but Imber just loved Haruka that much.

Sokolov take cover.

What is that stance?

Impossible…

I have to say it is a step up from the care that a soldier lavishes upon his weapon he keeps it clean gives it a name, and unlike a human it will never leave his side. In that sense Imber is the ideal boyfriend, even if he was involved with a yandere many asteroids ago. Chihaya probably meant as much as a first love that ended tragically. Given that Imbere did not delete her picks folder I assume the pervert doesn’t want to forget everything the good times and the bad. If it weren’t for Imber’s mecha state it probably would have been a more typical love story, but as he is a mecha that can’t talk it was a worthy effort in trying to impart some personality to him. All in all it had the elements of a love story, girl meets mecha, mecha was waiting a long time, mecha courts his beloved, mecha turns out to have a more turbulent love life, the old flame comes back to ruin things, girl feels dumped and abandoned, girl and mecha over come the old flame, and they part on a melancholy note. Though it was adorable how Imber took one of Haruka’s ribbons with him before going off on his blaze of glory, a fitting memento that they will always be connected. It felt like a courtship because there was none of the dallying of switching haremettes and it was really more about Haruka coming to terms with her love for her mecha. Imber started out as a pet weapon, in the end he won out and won Haruka’s heart. Well at least we can assume that he is forever in a place where he can’t cheat on Haruka.

Thank you. Thank you, for teaching me the joy of the revolver.

Does it have to be one or the other? Love or hate?

Between a woman and a woman? You bet.

In the end I am glad that the mecha battles just took a back seat to HarukaxImber with some sweet Metal Gear Azusa-nee tactical espionage action. Idolmaster Xenoglossia is not fore every one and leans more towards those partial to an interesting twist on a very familiar love story than those just starved for some mecha battles.

You’re doing it wrong!

Imber likes…

That is far as they went…

A memento of their love they shared…

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