Getting a boyfriend is tough, but for lovable lasses like Miya here reading this post could help her come up with a winning plan to make Lulu her HUNNI. Ah music to me ears.

Well I guess waiting for the professor to compile all the data from every land is now the norm so in the mean time I guess more posting time. So this post has been incubating on my hard drive for sometime ever since True Tears ended but it has been expanded quite a bit since then.

As a military man I simply adore how shoujo shows have one thing that most other genres lack, doctrine. While there is many a mecha pilot and shounen brat that is ready and eager to charge forth into the fray, this to me is at best some piss poor doctrine and a serious lack there of at worst. In any case the typical shoujo Heroine displays far more tactical and strategic acumen at achieving her objectives so here is a breakdown of a few that I have come across, this list is by no means comprehensive and I hope that a few of you have some proposals of your own. Like war for the shoujo heroine there is no substitute for victory in her love life and in her struggles all is fair, though not all is right. To form a coherent doctrine she has to break things down into strategy (over all vision of how to achieve her goals), operational art (amassing the resources she needs where and when she needs them), and tactics (what she does in every date/meeting). It is no simple task and while there are preferred doctrines proper execution and the will to win remain key to a decisive victory.

Blitzkrieg

Best feint ever…

The crème de la crème of love doctrines being the most commonly used with varying degrees of success. Within Blitzkrieg positional confrontations are to be avoided, with mobility, combined arms, flexibility, and snap decision making being the hallmarks of good modus operandi of successful practitioners. While tactical elegance is usually a given strategic planning is not, even with 100 successful tactical victories in dates, it can still be all undone if those victories are not used wisely. Advances may also be limited with regards to limitations in income which affect operational art. With regards to the target (i.e. the hapless boy the shoujo has set her sights on) an armored thrust along a narrow front violently executed will be part of her opening moves to penetrate the target’s defenses and garner the target’s immediate attention along with daze, fear, and confusion. While maintaining momentum and tactical initiative the shoujo will endeavor to bypass all strong points and effect a full encirclement on her target. Once this is achieved swift capitulation by her target will be forth coming as her man/woman will have no choice but to submit to her will. Hopefully by this stage her target will be over awed enough to the point that capitulation will be swift, final, and voluntary.

Noted Practitioners

Amu’s numerous Shugo Chara allow her to be flexible in offense and defense.

Hinamori Amu (Shugo Chara) – with her very own combined arms team of Ran (Panzer Grenadier), Miki (Heavy Panzer Abteilung), Su (Pioneer/Combat Engineer), and Eru (Artillery) her ability to punch through defensive lines is unparalleled with her subsequent domination over Ikuto, Tadase, Kukai, and Kairi. Her rapid progress on no less than four fronts is nothing short of amazing. Sadly her lack strategic vision as to who she wants to end up with (this blogger is of the opinion that Ikuto is the only choice) may hamper her ultimate success. Her repeated victories over Utau are nothing short of love-field judo that has left Utau beaten and almost broken.

The most loved of all losers in love.

Isurugi Noe (True Tears) – One of the most famous contributors to the doctrine, her plight bitterly demonstrated what a lack of strategic vision could do to an expert tactician. Unfortunately for Noe that while she was able to achieve in mere months where it took her rivals years was nothing short of amazing her ultimate objective was not secured quickly enough. Too late did Noe realize who it was that she loved and too late did she realize the efforts of her Nii-san Ally resulting in her defeat. Shinichiro was able to avoid a complete encirclement by Noe and affected a head long retreat to Hiromi’s formidable defensive works. Once there a long drawn out siege was deemed untenable and Noe moved on with her life blessing the life of a better, luckier, and worthier man. Shinichiro would never forget what could have been and Hiromi was forced to acknowledge Noe’s superiority in tactics.

Shock and Awe

Hime was shocked, but will hime be awed?

Much like the afore mentioned Blitzkrieg this doctrine also emphasizes combined arms, but with displays of overwhelming power, dominant environmental awareness, dominant maneuvers, and spectacular displays of force to paralyze the targeted boy’s/girl’s perception of his/her little world and destroy his/her will to resist her affections. She must seize control of the environment and paralyze or so overload her rivals’ and beloved’s perceptions and understanding of events that the beloved and any rivals would be incapable of resistance at the tactical and strategic levels. The failings of this doctrine with regards to maintaining such high levels of power meant that it is a strategy for the short term. Love wars of attrition should be avoided where ever possible and there are limitations to sustainability as it is a very resource (money and time) intensive method. The key to success is to achieve rapid dominance and make off with the objective as quickly as possible in 13 episodes or less. If the series is to last longer than 13 episodes victory is no longer guaranteed and use of surges might be necessitated to keep her in the fight.

Noted Practitioners

That’s the Shock and Awe spirit for you.

Sheryl Nome (Macorss Frontier) – while Sheryl’s initial objectives were at first unclear her ability to achieve rapid dominance over her Alto-hime was swift and nearly decisive. Only a last minute propaganda victory by Ranka prevented a quick conclusion to what will now be a drawn out slugfest. Despite Alto-hime’s initial misgivings and wariness Sheryl was able to use great displays of Sheryl power to overwhelm him and secure his friendship often leaving her beloved speechless and at a loss for words with but a kiss. Unfortunately for Sheryl her falling victim to Grace means that she will have to initiate a surge in order to secure Alto-hime’s undying affections. Her task is also complicated by the fact that her beloved is highly desired by everyone else on Frontier.

When I first saw this series I thought that this was just yuri-baiting, and how delightfully wrong I was.

Chikane Himemiya (Kannazuki no Miko) – The premier theorist and most successful practitioner of Shock and Awe, Chikane was able to delay her offensive until the last moments to achieve complete strategic and tactical surprise on both her rival Soma and her beloved Himeko. With her awesome displays of Chikane power Himeko was swiftly taken and Soma was sent packing in short order. Such was her mastery of the doctrine that her yuri-love trumped out a more traditional and expected relationship. While her campaign is fraught with controversy, Chikane demonstrated that for all her questionable actions, that there is no substitute for victory. Like a master she achived all her initial goals in 12 episodes rather than the allotted 13.

…and that would be the last mistake Katsura’s enemy would ever make.

Kotonoha Katsura (School Days) - the most heavy handed of the Shock and Awe theorists Katsura suffered much during her long campaign to win the head of Itou. Where her rivals all attempted to and succeeded in sleeping with her prize, Katsura triumphed over them all once she gained the ability and ruthlessness to use Katsura power in sharp and awesome displays of her dominance. Where her rivals all ended up sluts, riddled with STDs, and in one case dead, Katsura was forcible deflowered but remained innocent as her consent was not given and her assailant was not Itou. Nevertheless despite the costly battles once Katsura amassed the operational requirements, her vengeance and victory were decisive and final. Sekai and her unborn bastard were left dead, and her other rivals soon all succumbed to all manner of diseases forced into perpetually single as no man or woman would take them for lovers. Katsura won the head of the bastard Itou and sailed off to distant lands with all of her power and wealth. It is said that she made a drinking goblet out of Itou’s skull, but as to her true fate, that has faded into legend.

People’s War

This victory belongs to Ranka and all who supported her.

Often the preferred doctrine of shoujo who are born or possess more humble, though not communist, means, People’s War favors infiltration tactics by a shoujo with more limited resources, and relies on effective local support to achieve her aims. Hallmarks of this doctrine include:

1: A short artillery bombardment to start any offensive action, featuring heavy shells mixed with numerous caterpillar projectiles, which would concentrate on neutralizing the target’s and rivals’ front lines, rather than on destroying them by itself.

2: Under a creeping barrage, shock trooper shoujo would move forward and infiltrate the boy’s/girl’s defenses at previously identified weak points. She would avoid combat whenever possible and attempt to destroy or capture the target’s headquarters and artillery strong points.

3: After the shock trooper shoujo and her local support had done their job, units heavily equipped with cake and chocolate would make heavy attacks along narrow fronts against any of her beloved’s strong points the shock trooper shoujo missed. When the artillery and locals were in place, she could direct the fire wherever it was needed to accelerate the breakthrough.

4: In the last stage of the assault, she and her local allies would mop up any remaining resistance.

It is a costly doctrine to employ and often entails an emotional toll that is at times too awful to contemplate, however if a shoujo sees things through to the end her target and her rivals may be bleed white to the point that she is the one with the last 1000 valentine chocolates. It is a more attrition oriented doctrine that rewards patience and tenacity in face of daunting odds.

Noted Practitioners

Ranka during the Birthday Offensive.

Ranka Lee (Macross Frontier) – despite Sheryl’s early and dramatic successes, effective local support enabled Ranka to stay in the fight to achieve her grandiose public relations victory securing for Ranka the attentions of Alto-hime, where her initial overtures often fell flat. Stealth was her favored means of achieving her goals and she achieved great success in her first film by getting a kiss from her hime. Ranka continues to draw upon strong local support, but currently lacks the means to consolidate her gains due to the lack of comparative Ranka power in comparison to Sheryl. With Sheryl now on the defensive it remains to be seen if Ranka can maintain her recent gains.

A masterfully done feigned sleep by Aihara.

Aihara Kotoko (Itazura na Kiss) – the most noted advocate of People’s War whose eventual victory is all but assured. Despite lacking overwhelming Kotoko power Aihara enjoys unparalleled local support from her future mother in law, and her allies. While her beloved Naoki remains defiant every observer has noted that his ability to mount continued resistance is fading fast. We are in effect seeing the last throes of the Naoki resistance in a few months time he will take Aihara’s name and wear a nurse outfit. Kotoko’s most determined rival is a petty princess who while exceeding Kotoko’s intelligence is nonetheless losing to the “stupid girl.” Nevertheless with ultimate victory and Naoki’s unconditional surrender a good many weeks away Kotoko will have to endure much hardship to be happy, but she will be happy in the end. Episode 14 just aired Kotoko has won a hard earned victory, the War of Naoki’s Ring is now officially over with Naoki’s unconditional surrender to Kotoko. The terms of Reiko’s surrender were notably Carthaginian.

Once again Risa receives aid from an unexpected source…

Risa Koizumi (Lovely Complex) - one of the most famous, but at least the tallest contributors to the theory, Risa’s campaign was a long and hard fought one. Many were the times in which thing looked bad, but with decisive local support she fended off her rivals and would be suitors to win her prize. Her collective title of Hanshin Kyojin with her beloved chibi is a testament to her arduous campaign where her tenacious nature proved that love knows no height. Despite the hard fought nature of her offensive, her terms were rather generous to the vanquished and her beloved. May she be as happy as she is tall.

Methodical Battle

Hiromi works out in her fortress of doom during the War of Shinichiro’s Picture Book.

The most time intensive doctrine available and preferred method of childhood friend types, Methodical Battle is the least flexible of all doctrines. Entrenchment and establishing of extensive defense in depth are required for successful implementation. The goal is to establish such an intricate defense that no rival can hope to assail the methodical bishoujo in her fortress of doom. Fatal errors include the possibility that her defense may be flanked and the chance that an airborne coup de main can dig her out of her fortifications in short order. Thus a defense be lavishly provided for with fortified rooms within or near a target’s house and a deep system of block houses and forts to delay her rivals as long as possible. The ultimate weapon however remains childhood memories and preferably a yubikiri and first kiss. With these a methodical bishoujo cannot lose because she has already been chosen from the outset. Timing is critical however and while her defensive lines are formidable she must keep her beloved within the deepest layers of her defense and hope that her center of gravity is never struck. If the lynchpin of her defenses (i.e. childhood memories) is compromised her defensive line might become irreversibly compromised.

Noted Practitioners

How I wish Shinichiro took her up on that.

Hiromi Yuasa (True Tears) – The most controversial advocate of Methodical Battle, Hiromi was able to camp out in her beloved’s home for many moons allowing her to construct an elaborate defense that Shinichiro retreated to in the face of the Noe Blitzkrieg. While she was almost fatally flanked and destroyed her masterful appeals for Noe’s pity were sufficient to delay Noe long enough to prevent a complete encirclement of the objective. While the landmines will require years to clear, Hiromi won a costly victory without having decisively vanquished the memories and deeds of Noe Isurugi. Long will Shin remember Noe, and long will Hiromi feel the effects of her very close defeat at Noe’s hands. At least she has her man and the fact remains that there is no substitute for victory.


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Comments (21)

[…] is a philosophical text in verse. More pragmatically, there’s The Art of Love; Crusader writes in a long tradition. Except that, like Crusader’s post, Ovid’s advice to lovers […]

Hook, Line and Sinker « The Animanachronism added these pithy words on Jul 13 08 at 5:48 am

[…] Crusader: Like war for the shoujo heroine there is no substitute for victory in her love life and in her […]

Love Is A Battlefield | Sea Slugs! Anime Blog added these pithy words on Jul 14 08 at 9:29 am

[…] safety is not a good thing. It illustrates a lack of strategic vision as I have specified in my love doctrine post, and now it seems that Ranka’s local support is drying up as her fame rises and more worrisome […]

THAT Animeblog - Macross Frontier 19: Aimo Memorial Day? You mean Destroid Day, right? added these pithy words on Aug 17 08 at 4:00 am

hahahahah this article was so cumtastically amazing. I love it so much I’ll give one of my own…=)

Psychological Warfare
Difficult to achieve victories with this method, but nevertheless formidable. Psychological warfare requires unwavering patience, determination, and tactical genius as it requires being entrenched for the long haul. But these qualities are precisely what makes this tactic truly horrifying. Targets who are hesitant or outright unresponsive are methodically broken down. Mental defenses are slowly brought down and the effects are so little over such long periods that targets are often unaware they are being attacked. Pyschological warfare tactics come in all shapes and sizes. But they’re are all horrifying in that they are able to attack the target without his knowledge. Control the mind. Control the outcome.

Noted Practitioners
Seto San (Seto no Hanayome) - Arguably the most successful as she was able to achieve not only a complete mental conversion of the target, also as a result a complete physical conversion to her ideal type. Nagasumi’s transformation into a Bruce Lee-on-steriods clone was no doubt a result of the mental programming placed by San. A perfect example of using the pressure of constant unceasing aggression to break down the mental state.

Louise (Zero no Tsukaima) - An excellent example of reverse psychology use. By employing hard-to-get tactics she was able to keep Saito subconsciously coming back for more. A truly horrifying technique with undeniable results. She was able to reverse Saito’s desire to return to his own world AND disregard his healthy libido in the midst of finer maidens. Her control over his mind is so great she is able to keep Saito chasing after an underdeveloped girl only to be blown up.

atomicwasabi added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 2:39 am

This is the best anime-related article I’ve ever read.

Cheers to you!

Halcyon added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 3:35 am

I submit this into evidence as exhibit A, to prove that you do NOT fail as a blogger. Nyah!

We need more fighters like Risa, really Chibi-baka-Otani never stood a chance. Risa is just too damned cute, her main problem was his utter cluelessness. Thankfully he woke up thanks to her hard work and he stopped being such a complete idiot.

Awesome post!

D.J added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 3:54 am

Everything is a war for you. Don’t you know peace and love?
Take it easy.

LDC added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 4:05 am

Holy shit! Crusader; military tactician and Love Guru extraordinaire. 10/10

I knew Hiromi was never the better woman, she was merely better equipped for battle, that’s all. °ε°

Shin added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 5:07 am

@Shin: She was not better equipped. Shinichiro simply has bad taste.

LDC added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 6:26 am

Damn this post was epic…and highly entertaining.

Is it sad that I’ve seen 90% of the shows you used as examples? I’d like an analysis of Shizuma Hanazono from Strawberry Panic.

Riex added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 6:55 am

Somehow imagining Kotoko as the ascetic, hard-working peasant warrior works really well. How did it work? Were Christine and Matsumoto in control of the cities (dates, wealth, influence) but unable to conquer the Kotoko-controlled countryside (represented by the fact that she was living with him)? Hmm.

Anyhow, great post. Any plans for doing a survey of romantic doctrines used by anime males, or are they all too simple? Also, I think Carthage should be destroyed.

IKnight added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 8:42 am

ZOMG this post is awesome! I would argue that Kotonoha should be more of a People’s War practitioner, especially in her battles against Sekai (although her final move certainly did shock and awe).

I also enjoyed the section on Amu and her resounding success hampered by her lack of consistent focus.

Kabitzin added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 8:55 am

@atomicwasabi
Hehe some interesting points you have there comrade, sadly though I missed out on Seto no Hanayome and could not tolerate ZnT II for very long. T_T

@Halcyon
Thanks for reading.

@D.J
Well it was most unfortunate that Risa chose a blockhead for her beloved…but she did win out in the end and honestly she had to fight trhough a jungle full of rivals and potential suitors. Poor Haruka.

@LDC
Love is a Battlefield: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J9rTZJBmw

Shinichiro didn’t have bad taste he just made a very tragic mistake in betting on a brilliant past than an awesome future.

@Shin
Thanks comrade. Since Hiromi’s childhood memories with Shinichiro were never destroyed Noe’s defeat was not long in coming. Still that means that Noe is still a otome enjoying the flower of her maidenhood. The next guy she set her eyes on will be more than happy to capitulate…

@Riex
Thanks comrade. Watching only 90% of these shows is sad I hope you will watch the remaining 10%. ;)
Skane had a very good analysis of Tamao many moons ago, I can’t say I liked Shizuma enough to watch Tamao lose again. Poor Yaya though…

@IKnight
Not sure how your comment ninja-ed it self in, but for all their wealth and prestige it was not important in the end as one seems less than interested and joined the Kotoko revolution while the other was sent off for re-education through labor elsewhere. Kotoko does have a rustic simple rural charm to her and perhaps the old urbanite Naoki was quite taken by that charm, though by taken I mean seized.

Not sure if I can actually do one for the boys, it seems in most anime I watch these days it’s the women who woo the men, not the men who woo the women, though I might just be watching the wrong genres. Granted that most anime has elements of harem, Patrick from Gundam 00 is a notable exception where we actually saw a guy actively courting his beloved. Reverse Harem might work but I have only seen very few of those and competition is not shall we say cutthroat… I might give it a try though maybe… ;)
@Kabitzin
Thanks comrade, though since Katsura had not local support for her cause I think that as it was unilateral as you can get it was more Shock and Awe than her sneaking up deceiving Sekai. I think that because her last moves were such awesome displays of unhindered Katsura power that she has contributed a lot more the the use of force section of Shock and Awe, namely be excessive, suffice to say there was not a lot of sneaking involved.

It’s kind of hard to put Shugo Chara into a post for me, but I just hope Amu-chan’s lack of strategic vision will compromise her decision and drive to seize the Ikuto prize. She pretends to not want him around, but we know better, yesssss…..

Crusader added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 11:29 am

“to win the head of Itou”…”to use Katsura power in sharp and awesome displays”
you so owe me a new keyboard…
well done i say… very well done

Quint added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 1:06 pm

forget ‘Sun Tzu: the art of war’, here comes ‘Crusader: the art of love doctrine’

EvilDevil added these pithy words on Jul 11 08 at 9:50 pm

@Quint
Your keyboard is not under warranty…
Thanks for reading though.

@EvilDevil
I don’t have enough for a full book yet… T_T

Crusader added these pithy words on Jul 12 08 at 1:59 am

You are right. Intricate plans beat Real-time tactics. Katsura might be drinking a nice fruit smoothy out of Makoto’s skull right now.

Rakuen added these pithy words on Jul 12 08 at 4:46 am

“victory is no longer guaranteed and use of surges might be necessitated to keep her in the fight.”

Muahahahahahhahaha, I am sorry, it’s too much, I will die laughing if I continue.Brilliant!

ZeusIrae added these pithy words on Jul 13 08 at 12:36 pm

@Rakuen
I think Katsura helped herself to a pint of Sekai’s blood first… ;)

@ZeusIrae
Hehe glad you enjoyed what you read, though feel free to finish it in due time.

Crusader added these pithy words on Jul 13 08 at 2:00 pm

There is one strategy that you missed. This is the sideswipe strategy. Simply said it is the ‘pretend you don’t like the guy when you actually do’ strategy which through endless persistence (or dumb luck) can end up in victory. Noted practitioners include Shana from Shakugan no Shana, and Haruhi.

Epi added these pithy words on Jul 14 08 at 5:48 pm

Not liking the way u talk about Hiromi like that, but it’s true…
Another method would be baiting.
First, look defenseless in front of the target.
Second, constantly depending on the target.
Third, say embarrassing romantic stuff.
Fourth, end off with an awesome crying scene

example: Furukawa Nagisa

TnO added these pithy words on Jul 22 08 at 12:47 am

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