The Pink Ranger would like to have some sweets, yes?

March 15, 2308 with the war coming close to the final stages the UN was to suffer a terrible loss at the hands of Sumeragi and her inexhaustible supply of upgrades. While the Allies had instituted major reforms and instituted innovative command and control structures that mitigated old hatreds, it was all for naught as plot armor proved too much for hard work and tactical elegance to over come. It was to be the presage for the coming of Corner and his uber weapon of doom from beyond the moon…

Oh Lockon dies if you didn’t know.

Alejandro is attacking the my coffin planet! Quick Haro teleport to me four overbearing and over-emotional humans with attached douche bags.

The Aeoliajugend was infamous for not obeying what few orders there were.

Opposing Forces

Celestial Being

Aeolia had founded Celestial Being based on the principle of ending war by killing more people. While there were many who wanted peace but thought him mad and deluded, Aeolia would have none of it and in the subsequent purges and the infamous Night of the Long Beam Sabers all of his opponents were cowed into silence. Numerous “thought reform camps” were established with the goal of re-educating dissenters with the ideology of Aeolia. With that Aeolia was the virtual emperor of CB with the Observers being reduced to a rubberstamping committee that could get little done on their own. Throughout his reign Aeolia was always suspicious of people who might usurp his vision and thus encouraged factionalism to keep his minions weak so that he could play them off one another to his desires.

Schenberg had never trusted the military or any professional soldier as they had spurned his call to arms and put down his Science Lab Putsch of 2132. This pathetic insurrection impressed upon Aeolia that professionals were too dumb to realize how great his aspirations were so he instead recruited fighters for their sheer loyalty only. Knowing that he would need an incentive to gain recruits he created underage girl prostitution rings to finance his scheme and offer incentives for loyal recruits who would do his bidding. As most of the adults had refused to serve him, Aeolia knew that he had to get them young and the lure of intercourse was all the more tempting too teenagers who wanted to copulate to prove that they were “mature.” Knowing that he needed every body he could lay his hands on Aeolia ensured that the only way to ever leave CB was to die, and any resulting children who were born to CB members were immediately seized for indoctrination to the Aeolia Peace Plan within the Aeolia Youth. The result was a force that was largely inept, but thanks to the huge revenue stream provided by child prostitution his forces remained well equipped, and often better than standing armies that relied on tax dollars.

Even at their highest levels of command all in the Waffen AA were emo.

 

Let me guess you wanted to tell him you were pregnant…

Aeolia dubbed his new military forces the Waffen Aeolia Army other wise known as the Waffen AA. While Aeolia often saw enemies everywhere he did trust Heinrich Corner well enough to allow him to build the Waffen AA. The creation of the Waffen AA did much to create the cult of personality that Aeolia enjoyed and ensured ideological purity within all recruits. By the 2300s the only remaining division was the Aeoliajugend under the command of Grofaz Sumeragi. While loyalty was excellent, their tactics and skills remained inferior to the Allies as ideology dominated recruiting practices with the more skilled often branded as class enemies and swiftly executed where ever possible. Doctrine was non-existent and what precepts remained was taken verbatim from the French Military doctrine of Methodical Battle during the 1930s and 1940s.

 

Tears of Joy: Now its Tearsy Lichtendhal’s turn to claim the bridge bunnies…

BYAHHHHHHHH!

To ensure that everything would go according to plan Aeolia introduced commissars to ensure compliance of field commanders to Aeolia’s political goals. Commissars such as Lavernity Erde were given license to countermand the orders of the few competent military commanders and often executed those who did not shout Gundamu loud enough. Discipline was lax and training was nonexistent. Endless Aeolia propaganda provided a substitute for morale. Of the prescribed 3 weeks of training only a day was allocated to practical military training with the rest of it being used to teach recruits about the glorious life of Aeolia Schehberg, and memorization of Aeolia’s little red book. Nevertheless the 12th Waffen AA Aeoliajugend had plot armor which would ensure their survival and ultimately their success. Often seen by the Allies as fanatics that gave no quarter, the Aeoliajugend would perpetrate numerous atrocities in the name of peace and Aeolia’s dream. Despite his insistence that his policies were benevolent, few could ignore the fact that Aeolia was forcing people everywhere to adopt his ideal society through force of arms.

Despite the years of war solidarity between soldiers like former terrorist Ali provided the basis for their superb cooperation.

Ali the Humble.

The Allies

 

Despite the overwhelming superiority of CB weaponry to their own the typical Allied soldier was far better trained than his CB counter part. It was a mark of their professionalism that they were able to recover quickly from tactical defeats. While every one from the generals down knew that they would be called upon to sell their lives dearly, thus far their superior doctrine and training had mitigated their enemy’s technological superiority. Drawing the bulk of their man power from the all corners of the globe the Allies could count on near limitless reserves of man power, however the Allies only had a limited number of GN-Tau drives, and while their older Mobile Suits were formidable the recent wave of CB technology had rendered them largely obsolete. Thus during the battle the Allied High Command combined their GN-X squadrons in an attempt to at least keep the Waffen AA on the defensive to buy time for full GN-X production. Unfortunately the break through still had not come. To make matters worse the limited number of light assault carriers in the Allied Inventory limited Allied operations, while the 7th Light Carrier Flotilla was lavishly equipped strategic realities dictated that the orbital elevators had to be protected. Given how CB had a penchant for mass destruction the Allied High Command felt that caution was still called for.

\
Courage Under Fire.

Damn Patrick knows more than he lets on, those impudent meisters always get the upgrades…

Despite having been rivals the Big Three quickly realized that if they wanted to survive that they would need to unite against the CB threat while the politicians remained wary, the respective militaries of the AEU, HRL, and Union got along famously. Cooperation within the 7th Flotilla was excellent with the quartermasters pooling their resources and the crews helping their new comrades adjust to conditions on the Virginia class Light Carriers. Despite having overall command of the 7th Flotilla, Oberst Katie did not let her rank dictate operations. Mindful of the experience of the famed Wild Bear of Russia, Sergei Smirnov, Oberst Katie left tactical matters to him while she oversaw the support crews and coordinated the operations sections to keep Oberstleutnant Smirnov informed of CB intentions. While Oberst Katie had enough rank to overrule Sergei she trusted him implicitly. Under Sergei training for the GN-X pilots was made more rigorous and formed a standard tactical doctrine that every pilot could fall back on. In the bitter days to come it would prove invaluable.

The Battle

While the battle was fierce all that remained was this log. Unfortunately now the mists of time have robbed them of all meaning we can only wonder how it was.

 

Power Rangers IN SPACE! Go Power Rangers. Go Power Rangers. goooooooo! IN SPACE! (Yes, Lassie, your actions will also be carved unto countless tombstones and memorials to CB masscres, ain’t terrorism fun?)

Prism Shieldo ON!

8:23 E-57dood (kills UNDrone1)
8:40 E-57dood (kills UNDrone2) - hey dood these bots suck ass
9:09 TrapChiXXXorPurple (kills UNDrone3) – ya good thing we set it one easy hey dere goses another one
9:37 PrinceAli285 (Joins the Game) – Oh gawd you guys are smashing bots on EZ?!
PrinceAli285 (Pwns TrapChiXXxorPurple) – WTF dual wielding rockets?! There no more hacking fat fuck
9:49 E-57dood (kills UNDrone4) – mah tailbooster makes me 3 times faster LOL deez bots aint got shit one me
9:54 PinkPilot456 (Joins the Game)- OMGWTFBBQ damn it E-57 can’t you ever play without hax and u use it for bot smash?!
PinkPilot456 (takes out E-52dood’s tailbooster) – there man up and play
10:56 WildBear329 (Joins the Game) – Oh gawd dis fucker again
WildBear329 (assassinates E-52dood) – Take that n00b
11:05 E-57dood (uses Trans-Am hack) – man fuck y’all I got mad skillz and mad hax I do what it want
11:33 TrapChiXXXorPurple (Activates Trans-Am hack) – hey wait fer me dood
11:47 TrapChiXXXorPurple (picks up flak cannon from no where) hahaha n00bs I got mah weapons back I gots mad hax bitches
PrinceAli285 (facepalms) – WTF I blasted those damn rockets
PrinceAli285 (ref. time 9:31 - both TrapChiXXXorPurple’s weapons were dropped) – c I knew it
11:58 TrapChiXXXorPurple (uses uber cannon to kill UNDrone5 and UNDrone6) STFU I can bot smash better than u n00bs

 

Orange Ranger head hurt….

Yeah Ali has two eyes.

12:03 AEUacePatrick00 (Joins the Game)
12:04 AEUacePatrick00 (Lagged out)
12:50 LoliPirate96 (Joins the Game) – hai guise check out mah Tank Hax
LoliPirate96 (kills no name UNDrones7-12) – haha these bots suck ass
13:18 E-57dood (shoots PinkPilot456’s leg) – WTF I got a head shot CHEATER
PinkPilot456 – that’s my leg
13:21 E-57dood (shoots WildBear329’s right arm) WTF lousy game that was so a head shot
WildBear329 – how about shooting at my head then fucker
13:31 E-57dood (loses Trans-Am hack) – WTF my hax isn’t working stupid game
13:38 WildBear329 – K this is getting gei I can hear E-57dood crying like a bitch I’m out c’ya
WildBear329 (leaves game)
PinkPilot456 – E-57dood is an attention whore and he still can’t play normal without hax
PinkPilot456 (leaves game)
14:17 LoliPirate96 (kills light carrier Norfolk)
14:25 LoliPirate96 (kills light carrier Roanoke) – hahaha deze bots make it too easy
14:29 PrinceAli285 (pwns LoliPirate96’s TANK hack) okay there fixed
PrinceAli285 – ZOMG haha the bot blew up ur tank man Pirate sux ass even with hax
15:56 KingKurdish65 (Joins the Game, activates Trans-am hack) – hai guise let me play
16:43 UnionNegro911 (commits an hero) - HOOOOWAAARDDDOO MASSSOOONNNN!
16:59 PrinceAli285 (pwns LoliPirate96)
LoliPirate96 (activates Last Stand perk) – hehe I’ll get you back fucker
19:22 PrinceAli285 (Frags LoliPirate96) – holy shit you can’t even use it right
LoliPirate96 (pwns PrinceAli285) – haha wait WTF I fragged you damn it you cheat!
PrinceAli285 – dude it’s not an auto kill n00b man screw this fuckers like you should not be allowed a head set. Fuck off bitch.
19:38 DilandyImouto105 (Joins the Game) – hai
19:38 PrinceAli285 (ghost kills DilandyImouto105) – dude don’t re-spawn in front of me
20:07 Lyle Dilandy (Joins the Game)
21:01 PirnceAli285 (leaves game) – man play on fucking legendary next time fuckers
LoliPirate96 – man I hate this fucking world it no fair, it broke my life
21:29 CB drops
22:18 KingKurdish65 – I goes not only to New Hampshire. I’s going to South Carolina and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and I’s going to California and Texas and New York. And I’s going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then I’s going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House. Oh noeses LOCKON STRATOS! BYAHHHHHHHHHH! Hey guise?

 

Blue Ranger is late again…

The Red Ranger is the only one who fights for GREAT JUSTICE! Incidentally Ali is also right, the Green Ranger is a hypocrite.

Impression

So yeah I was disappointed at how the meisters again got upgrades not only with Trans-Am, but a second GN Arms unit, tailbooster, and Teiria’s dual wield rokkits. All things considered the UN was doing fine until fucking Lockon fired off a salvo that killed 6 GN-Xs in one shot, but then that idiot Daryl just had to an Hero himself. Well this brings the UN down to 1 Carrier and 14 units assuming Ali made it out alive. I hope he did because freaking Lockon survived a similar explosion only to emerge with cockpit intact. I was immensely disappointed at how Patrick was taken out by a rock…

Well at least the Wild Bear of Russia and Oberst Katie seem to be getting along fine. The UN has it fucking tough they actually try to coordinate and improve their pilots but never ever get the upper hand because Sumeragi is still able to pull out a tailbooster and another GN-Arms from seemingly out of nowhere. I hope that they don’t give more GN-Arms units because at this point it seems that the Meisters will steam roll over just about every one no matter how much their pilots keep sucking. Oh Haptism has a headache, but Halleujah the Rapist just wants to cancel it out while he sits there picking his nose, bloody cunt.

Long Live Neo-Zarray!

I assume that three carriers were all the carriers that UN could field because it would just be ridiculous if they field more later on. If there were only three I guess taking 9 inferior units would have simply been asking those pilots to die. Besides given how Lockon just blasted through 6 GN-Xs in one go I doubt 9 Teriens, Enacts, or Flags would have helped matters. It would have been like taking Panzer IIs to Kursk, sure they are there but heck they are staying away from combat as much as possible. Moreover what the fuck is Graham doing sitting on his ass while his comrades get shot up? He has not done jack shit since the GN-Xs were doled out. He better fucking kill a meister to make up for his dereliction of duty.

Yeah needs MOAR Dragonzord.

So Lockon dies, and I have to say I really don’t give a damn about the fucker. He was a terrorist who believed that in the end that death would give him absolution and forgiveness for all that he has done. I don’t sympathize with the guy because he fought terrorism in the most round about way, being a terrorist. Ali is at least honest about what terrorism is all about, power. The ideal you fight for as a terrorist is not about being just. it’s about getting power to rule over a people or dictate your will upon the rest of society through acts of violence. At least Ali was not justifying his actions to himself, he simply accepted that he was doing something wrong and embraced his dark side unapologetically without deluding himself into believing that his cause was just. Moreover how the fuck did that cannon still have a power supply? The laws of Physics stopped completely right there since in space there is no friction and the initial velocity that caused Lockon’s GN-Arms to blow up should have remained in effect thus Lockon by all rights could not have made that shot at his platform was moving at a fixed velocity (implying direction), still I suppose they need to give the pirate terrorist his day of death.

Purple Ranger was spooning Green Ranger.

I really dislike how Lockon was touted as a sniper yet in the end he could not play sniper in the asteroid field but broke out the saber instead. I also thought that it was kind of bullshit how Dynames makes it out thus making the UN sacrifice all the more meaningless. I expect to see a fully functional Dynames in no more that two eps if not earlier. I can only hope Corner gets a big bad super weapon since the UN can’t seem to catch a break. The fact that the UN has to struggle so much for nothing tells me that his has gone into the point of toy commercial since all we seem to get are upgrades for the meisters. As for another useless minor Nena is either going to have to join the Sumeragi cluster fuck or go for an elevator drop, knowing how CB is a terrorist organization I am betting on elevator drop after Ms. Wang goes on about making change.

The Gundam 00 Leader Board. NOTE: nameless bots don’t count for shit, PERIOD. Also the credit for Eifman’s kill is still in dispute by the Trinity clan. (gundam-leader-board.jpg)

Well hopefully Ali is alive to continue the kill streak because he seems to be the only one able to take down plot armored meisters. The best I can hope for Patrick now is that he pulls a Kittan while taking out Lassie. I guess the UN doesn’t have much longer until they lose all their nameless peon GN-Xs since CB also got new weapons that can take them out in one shot while the UN can only knock on their doors with their no longer relevant guns. So yeah Lockon Rest in Pieces. I hope Ali takes the time to piss on your dead corpse. At least Harlock got a scar to go with his missing right eye, however real men like Moshe Dayan lose their left eyes and still kick more ass than a fictional emo-Lockon could.

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