The fifth entry is by Adalmin, who owns I like to wobble my creative organ. Cheers!

Signed, Impz

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Many spoilers herein, if rape spoilers are your thing. I’ll veer away from story spoilers as much as I can, but I’ll give you fair warning here - THIS IS A VERY OFFENSIVE ENTRY.

How offensive? Hmm. There’s no actual nudity or anything, but still. Here, if you can’t stand the deepest pit of depravity and lack of context and suggestive posing, then you probably should avoid this entry.

Aw, hell, you’re gonna read it anyway. Perverts.

KYON:

This isn’t my fault. I swear to God that I had a perfectly reasonable post all planned up and then Naruto just jumped out of the bushes of the Internet and attacked my brain.

So I’ll make this quick and image-heavy, eh? More material to fap to, eh? More Rock Lee to have write gratuitous fanfictions about, eh? EH? EH?!

[FAP FAP FAP FAP]

For those of you who are actually interested in my musings about the nature of fapposexuality in Naruto, I have placed my views in helpful bullet points for your ADD-crippled mind.

I was merely browsing through NarutoFOB’s screencap archive when I noticed a disturbing trend from episode 30 onwards. And by disturbing trend, I mean about a million pictures that I can attach some variation of the sentence “YOU’RE GONNA GET RAPED” to.

Such as:

• I used to have Rock Lee’s haircut in primary school.
• Rock Lee is cooler than Kakashi.
• Where is Kakashi? It should be a threesome.
• I wanted to Photoshop a penis on Tenten and a surprised expression on Rock Lee until I realised how emotional scarring that image would be.
• Emotionally scarring to YOU, of course. Me? HAHAHA!

• It is grammatically incorrect to use the word “get”. The proper word is “be”.
• Sakura actually does something FOR LIEK TEH FIRST TIEM!?
• Which isn’t very effective at all.
• But I still like how she pounces on that guy and he’s all “I’M GONNA GET RAPED”.
• There should be more girl-on-guy rape, only with hotter guys.
• Where is Kakashi? It should be a threesome.

• Sakura is still too chicken to rape Sasuke herself.
• You’d think feminism would have accomplished more within these few decades.
• Sasuke is just tempting everyone into raping him.
• Sasuke is more emo than My Chemical Romance.
• Sasuke and Naruto need to rape each other so that Naruto’s psycho-rape cancels out Sasuke’s angsty-rape and then we can have the best anime series EVER MADE.
• Where is Kakashi? He should get raped too.

• Hinata should be made into a plushie and then lobbed into war-torn countries for her unique powers of brain-softening cuteness.
• Hinata should be worshipped by all and sundry.
• Hinata is God.
• God loves you.
• Therefore, Hinata loves you.
• I will die a happy fangirl now.
• But wait! Where is Kakashi?! He should be raping EVERYBODY.
• But WAIT! Hinata-chan cannot be raped!
• [That tearing sound you hear is a rip in the space-time continuum.]

• He’s had a hard enough day, Sakura. Leave him be.
• Hur hur. “Hard enough”.
• Hur hur. “Rock Lee”.
• Hur hur. “Rape”.
• Where is Kakashi? Why is he not doing any raping or getting raped or generally associating with rape in any shape or form?
• Hmph. Rock Lee is still cooler than Kakashi.

KAKASHI:

Having said that, don’t you find Kakashi-sensei to be so delicious in the new masthead? And the link image? Yes he is. SO CUTE.

Hur hur, “pains”.
Hur hur, “small”.
Hur hur, “hard”.
Hur hur, “nail”.
Hur hur, “expression”.
Hur hur, “holding”.
Hur hur, “amateur”.
Hur hur, “deign”.
Hur hur, “Kakashi”.

[FAP FAP FAP FAP]

If the entire series consists of such fapworthy imagery like this, I’m never leaving the house ever again. I will die an exhausted skeleton of fap, with a drunken grin and a sore right arm.

KYON:

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