Yes, I simply wanted to post something random, considering that I have suddenly thought of the Power Rangers when I saw the above screenshot. What will really happen if Kanon turns into a Power Ranger spoof? Actually, it is not “if it really happens”. It is in fact the story of a harem ranger, learning how to improve his power through the various senseis in this series. He is in fact the sheer combination of Naruto + Sasuke + Ichigo + Ana Coppola!

Don’t ask why for the last one. It’s stated in the shounen chronicles that a moe~ character must always be added into any shounen post in the Warped Shounen Guidebook1.01v. The guidebook sells for a cheap price of a taiyuki that must be grabbed by stealing it from the evil Master Vile-who-sells-taiyuki-at-the-roadside. Yes, I never watch a single episode of Power Rangers before.

Yuuichi, our great shounen character in Kanon shows you the steps of being the GREATEST HAREM RANGER and of course, he’s over 9000 thousand. Yes, all of you readers have been tricked. Kanon is smartly disguised as a harem series when its essence is truly a shounen series.

Note: Data collected from only episode 13

First step: Learn the chant

In every shounen show, the character goes through a very weak phase of their lives. They generally start off as a very weak character and sometimes have problems even against weak enemies that can be killed with a finger by other side characters. Whenever the harem ranger is in a pinch, we always have a teacher that will mysterious appear from somewhere and enlighten our harem ranger, Yuuichi.

In this case, we have the taiyaki master, famous for causing great explosions all over the Earth with her ability to consume taiyaki, a fish-shaped cookie that is in fact the energy generation of all magical powers in the Kanon realm. Unknown to man and alien alike, taiyaki is in fact the energy force of the lifestream. Without it, we cannot survive. With her great abilities, she shows Yuuichi how to summon up the most powerful phrase in the Kanon universe.

It is the magical “Uguu”, to transform into the ultimate Uguu Harem Ranger! It’s MORPHING TIME!

Second step: Fight against the weaker foes

In a shounen anime, the main character often starts off fighting against weak opponents that technically cannot do much to him. However, since it is a shounen show, he also has great difficulties. Even so, his first enemy is a dog that looks somehow like a totally pretty girl with long hair. The dog even looks like Mai. How interesting, this dog must be a poltergeist in nature to be able to do that.

See, it’s a nice dog. Cute little woof for good measure (However, why is the dog looking so like Mai? Is the dog trying to lure our harem ranger with sexual lust and beauty?)

However, the harem ranger cannot drop his guard! He must still prevail, even though it is using its cuteness to defeat him. Fighting the first celestial dog was pretty easy. Yet, the next task was going to be much harder.

Third step: Fight against the stronger foes

As you can tell, all shounen characters tended to have a point when they realize no matter how much they try, they are just not good enough. This is the stage of the more powerful boss, where it is like final fantasy. You know that a mob is definitely a boss when there’s a cut scene and a different sort of music plays in the background. It is definitely the same logic here. We see that our main character is in a fix fighting the great boar of destruction.

And it’s in fact a cross breed between a boar and a cow. Wow, talk about hybrid creatures.

Fourth step: Shounen hero has his first loss

Every shounen hero has to fall at one stage of the series. He will then become stronger, when a greater master, one that has the harsh and cold demeanor to show the newbie her ways. That master is of course Mai, the wonderful sword maiden.

Fifth step: Master enters

The master must first show her moves in the most grandeur way in order to prove that she was indeed so strong that the harem ranger can only bow down in shame and beg to be taught a lesson (pun intended).

And the master dismantled the opponent easily. Add some wind effects, a nice sword and that “I WIN, YOU LOSE, YOU FAIL!” pose. It always works wonders.

And another episode of Harem Ranger: Yuuichi’s chronicles end on a cliffhanger. Will the great sword maiden finally teach our harem ranger Yuuichi her arts or will she reject him, forcing him to go on a quest to find a fox in the hills, save a girl who seems that she is sick but in fact she’s faking it or a sleepy girl that is going to walk into the school with only her night pajamas?

What will happen to our harem ranger?

Stay tuned to find out even though there will be no continuation whatsoever. Cheers.

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