I was on the bus today during one of the many brooding trips where I wonder how I could be an anime character with a harem filled with hot cute ladies. I was saying how happily that if I can go to somewhere and date all the hot/not so hot babes altogether. However, my bubble immediately burst after my friend told me that it is humanely impossible for anyone in Singapore to have any form of a harem because it is not a polygamy tradition here. I knew the truth but the truth hurts.
It hurts ;_;
Sigh, then I realise that there are some things in anime that can never come through in real life, no matter how much we wish it to be. I mean who would not want Asa/Mion/Shuurei/Louise/Shana to be right beside us doing their thing? That will be so darn hot. Are there things like that which I wish so much to be existent in real life?
HELL YEAH!
However, we have to remember that dreams….
Are completely different from reality…
Hence, I have compiled a wish list of things that will never happen in real life and pray that Kamisama will one day grant all my wishes, turning me into a sheepishly crazy and insanely happy fanboy.
It won’t happen but most of us anime watchers have fantasies of some kind at the very least. ADMIT IT THAT WE ALL HAVE FETISHES @_@;;;…I think i just asked to be flamed with that statement. I have listed out some scenarios (many from harem anime since it’s one of my favorite genre). Give yourself a pat on the back if you recognise all these situations.
Anyway, here we go, some of the possible scenarios that dont happen in real life.
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Things that will never happen
1. Nice nerd
If you are a fricking pushover and a complete nerd that cannot even get into a top university (aka a total failure), you generally do not have the chance to live in a girl-only dormitary and have perverted situations with them. It might sound like something great but considering that most girls hate wimpy guys and usually think of them as gays, it is not possible in real life. You do not have ninety nine lives and generally, if you are wimpy, you go down in one blow.
And that blow usually comes at the middle. Lower section for good measure.
2. Staying together
On that note, you will also never have one or two gals staying in your house, either cooking, staying because they enjoyed it or because you are stuck with them. No, younger sisters usually do not look hot in reality.
3. Nice guy
If you are a nice guy, you do not eventually have a good ending with some hot babe. Seriously, dont even think about it. Of course, you have to be a rather important person for this to happen. If you are usually a person that is of little importance, you are even less likely to get a hot babe.
Nice guys usually lose in real life. Seriously.
4. Green hair anime gals
Generally, other than the fact that gals look normal in blond, brown or black hair, gals do not look good in other colors. Even though I loved green-haired anime gals, I will be completely appalled by all cases where a girl really dyes her hair green. I will be thinking of grass and the likes with it. Green in real life = FAIL!
5. Perverted situations
Don’t we all wish this happens? It doesn’t. Usually, you will be sent to the police rather than getting a slap. No, you do not even get the chance to see anything before it happens, unlike the various anime males.
6. Loli girls
They usually are not cute. More to the point of annoying that instead of saying so cuteeeeeeeeeeee, you will be saying SOOOOOO CUTE THAT I WANT TO KILL THEM. Trust me, i have two younger nephews. Well, they are not gals but …oh wait, anime guy kids are annoying. I guess that is the same in reality as in anime too.
7. Neighbour
Your neighbour will usually not be your childhood friend. These days, who the hell knows your neighbour and goes <33 with them. I mean, we do have lives usually and they do not revolved around childhood friends.
8. Haruhism
No, wishing that you will meet Aliens, espers and time travellers does not mean you become God. I wish though, then I will wish that I have a harem…What?
9. Emo-ness
On the good side, since you do not have a harem of gals, you will also not encounter suddenly insanely jealous gals hoping to kill the other members of your harem. They come in all shapes and sizes, using different weapons such as torture cells, cleaver, baseball bat, cat eyes and all that weaponry. They are pretty assorted.
10. And lastly…
You will never get to kiss the cute gal/land on her boobs when you fall. You will usually get to kiss her ass or get a scream that goes with the essence of “MOLEST!”.
Anything else you can think of ?
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Comments (16)
And normally ur teacher dun have oppais ….
Moms and sisters never look that hot ..
IF ever u go into a gal’s toilet by accident … there won’t be any hot action going on inside .. except screams followed by JAIL
Sisters are always pain in the ass
Tsundere girls are even more annoying than in anime…
Anga added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 7:36 amtsundere girls are not annoying. They are like so uber cute T_T…What are u talking about!!!! RAWR!!!!!!
tEE HEE, well, i can imagine a real life tsundere girl since one of my close female friends is probably a close match. She isn’t really annoying actually x_x;;;
Impz added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 8:25 amYour friend is wrong btw - polygamy only refers to multiple marriages - which never happens in a harem anyway 
So your dream is still alive!!!
alkanphel added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 9:26 amTsundere does not exist. NO TSUNTSUN, NOR DEREDERE.
Moe childhood friends do not exist either.
Big breasted, hot teachers are in that list aswell.
Eating bentos -she- made? I can honestly say, I doubt a girl will even lend me lunch money.
WAHAHAHAHAHA!! I think that I do know of pretty hot teachers…Hmm, but yea, eating bentos….hmm, it’s in everyone’s dreams that it will happen..Tee hee. ^+^
Impz added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 10:28 amHey I’m a nice guy and I do well haha.
I don’t really think I’d want to be seen around town with a bunch of pointy eared girls @_@
I do agree with everything else though, especially the emo and “fall on breast” part. I honestly don’t know in real life anyone dumb enough to try that and think it’ll work like in anime. I was talking to a friend and I think anime ruins how people are supposed to percieve the otaku culture, in Japan if you’re an otaku you’re at the bottom of the barrel, which is a shame since being into a fandom really shouldn’t cause you to be seen as scum at all.
Chris added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 4:27 pmSorry that should read it ruins how otaku are percieved by people (in Japan)
Chris added these pithy words on Oct 04 06 at 4:28 pm>>No, younger sisters usually do not look hot in reality.
And if you DO think RL imouto are hot, then you certainly have serious problems…
What I want to happen in real life, is something similar to Angelic Layer or .hack, where toys and gaming have become very popular regardless of age. I’d like to kick some online butt for real. 
I’m sure if you fell and pressed your hand onto a girl’s chest for support, not only will you piss her off. . you’ll definately hurt her a bunch too.
That area is pretty sensitive to pressure afterall isn’t it? o_O
i wonder…i dont have much experience in that…So yea!
Impz added these pithy words on Oct 05 06 at 6:24 amClaim you are Muslim and state your religion allows it.
That or move to Malaysia.
The green hair thing is something I’ve thought about and makes me depressed. If only it did look nice in reality. There are so many anime girls I like with green hair.
My harem list would be… Mion, Asa, Tsuruya, Shion, Anemone, Misuzu, Yun and Mamiina(Simoun, and Yun is one of the prettiest desings I’ve seen for an anime character), and lets face it, many more. Lots of girls is the whole point, right! Though it could be a little strange as I’m female. ^^;;
And on lots of that stuff… Anime has created a strange mold out of me. I’ve mutated into some weird sweet ultra-feminine girl who wears cute clothes, makes strange noises, and likes to cook for other people (and I make and bring bento to school), yet strangely violent, apparently bitchy(as my friends say),and I enjoy the thought of torture…
Tess added these pithy words on Oct 06 06 at 6:39 pmWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ME TOO!
<— is a greenophile…but only for anime gals
Impz added these pithy words on Oct 06 06 at 7:00 pmI always get excited when I see a new character with green hair. I instantly start wondering “what’s she going to be like~~~?”
And I didn’t notice this one before, “On the good side, since you do not have a harem of gals, you will also not encounter suddenly insanely jealous gals hoping to kill the other members of your harem.”
It’s actually not impossible. One of my best friends who is not good looking, and he’s kind of a loser… but all of a sudden this year, in our senior year… He has more than four girls gushing over him.
Me and my friend Saruko, as I call her have fun by hanging all over him in class when those other girls are around. I love seeing their jealous reactions and glares.
On and I forget to mention, he wants them all for a harem(he watches anime like the rest of us). And all of these girls are from decent to pretty! Maybe I’m just jealous of him… haha.
Tess added these pithy words on Oct 06 06 at 8:14 pmtess, you know what.
You just implanted a seed of murder in my head. I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR FRIEND. Just kidding =/. But honestly, it is humanely impossible, so I will resign to the fate that it happens like how it does in anime : in a fairy tale. =/
Oh well, but it is so amusing that there is such a harem in real life. Tsk tsk tsk.
Impz added these pithy words on Oct 07 06 at 6:58 pm